Fanfic Review - How to Save a Life

How to Save a Life (HTSAL) is a story way more intense than the Author's Summary would make anyone believe.  It takes you on a journey through people's pain to find true healing.  It happens in such a natural, realistic way, that you find yourself as unsure as the characters at times. You feel sad and lost, then anger and disappointment, followed by hope and an awakening.  By the time the story ends, you feel cathartic as if you had experienced the story personally.  When a story leaves indelible footprints, you know it is something special.

Story summary (MAJOR SPOILERS)-
Bella Swan moves to Forks, WA to live with her Dad after her Mom decides she and new husband, Phil, will travel the country in an RV.  Bella, being the more responsible one of two, decides she doesn't want to go on this journey and moves to Forks right before her Junior year begins.  She is befriended by Alice Cullen, who on the outside appears to be extremely bubbly, well liked, quirky, stylish, and welcoming.  

Bella believes Alice is perfect; friendly, cute boyfriend, rich, successful family, talented artist, etc, and wonders why she'd want to be friends considering Bella doesn't feel she has any of those same characteristics.  It's not until Bella goes to Alice's house for the first time that she encounters Edward Cullen, Alice's older brother. Bella is immediately drawn to Edward even though he obviously has "issues".  And seeing Alice's interaction with her brother, Bella finally sees the one thing Alice is not "perfect" about.  There is strain and hurt hovering close to the surface at all times.

Bella is mandated by Alice to sit with her at lunch instead of hiding out in the library.  As she is walking to the cafeteria, she sees photos of girls nominated for Homecoming lining the wall.  Then she sees the photo of another girl on the wall.  As she is looking at the photo she realizes this girl is dead and the picture is a memorial to her.  During lunch, Edward surprisingly sits with his old friends during lunch, even if he doesn't want to interact with them.  Bella makes a comment that unknowingly sets off Edward. It is then that Bella knows she is the one standing on the outside of something that has happened.

Bella finds out the dead girl was Edward's girlfriend, Tanya Denali, who he had been with since he was 15.  She borrowed his car during a really bad rain storm and died in a car crash.  Because it was Edward's car, he has taken it upon himself to feel fully to blame for the accident.  Tanya is described as the most popular girl in school, captain of the cheerleading squad, smart, etc.  Bella instantly feels sad for Edward's grief and continually thinks of him even if she doesn't understand why. They are forced together when Bella gets upgraded to AP Bio, a class mostly taken mostly by Seniors. 

I will not give anymore of the plot away, but let's just say that things are never as black and white as they appear on the surface.  Nothing is as simplistic as we'd originally believe, nor is finding a solution always the path we think should be chosen, but it works. 

Bella and Edward find their "happily ever after", but it's not easy in the slightest, nor will life ever be completely a fairy tale ending.  However, if it didn't happen the way it did, it would never really happen.  Two people can hide behind other people's problems and try to save someone else so they don't have to face their own issues.  People can think they are doing good for someone when really they are trying to succeed in something/someone else because they failed before. 

So, what did I love...

• I know this may sound odd, but I loved the pain this story caused me.  I not only cried during the obviously upsetting parts, but also during Bella's evolution of feelings.  Every time she tried to figure out something, I felt it with her.  At first you don't realize that Bella is in "danger"; that she has demons in her closet thrusting her to do certain things in her life and to cling desperately to others.  At first you think this story is about healing Edward, but ultimately, Bella is just as damaged as Edward.  If the story did not progress how it did, I don't think Bella would have healed.  She would have become either a co-dependent semblance of herself, or a bitter woman who never took chances because she'd believe the outcome would always be negative.
  
• I loved the song choices for each chapter. Unholy.Obsession really chose songs that had lyrics that reflected the actions of the chapter perfectly.  I also loved that she used the lyrics in the beginning and end of the chapters.  She'd start off the chapter with one verse, but ended with a different verse or the chorus.  It wrapped up each chapter well.  Plus, the songs set a mood for the chapter.  During some chapters, I'd actually play the song on repeat as I was reading.  It'd eventually become just noise, but it helped place me into the story. The music also inspired the story's name, and the chapter actually using "How to Save a Life" by The Fray was extremely painful to read.  It was a turning point where Bella was negatively transformed, yet, also positively jolted into something else.  Sometimes bad events are reminders that the path we are on is not the one we should have taken.  It hurts like hell and no one wants to feel that pain, but if you survive it, and learn from it, you're a much more whole person. 
• Bella POV only - Sometimes a story makes more sense when we only know it from one person's point of view.  In real life, people only ever know a story from their own point of view and aren't privy to the minds of others.  In a story where no one understands Edward's actions, if I had the view into his mind, I don't think the story would have had as much impact.  It meant so much more when he allowed Bella in enough to share the secrets of his pain.  It helped build the relationship knowing he allowed someone to see him, even if on his own terms.
  
• Edward. His character is so realized that I am left feeling like I know him, but only the parts he chose to show me. He is not who we see, nor do we know who he was because Bella didn't know the "old" Edward, so it is a conundrum of wondering who he really is.  He'll never be as carefree as some would choose to believe he was at one point in his life, but did anyone ever even know the real him.  The things he did to protect those he cared about, the lengths he we went to hide what he thought no one else needed to know. He swallowed so much of everyone else's pain into his own being that you are left wondering if he really could heal and purge himself of so much guilt and responsibility.  Did he even know when we was absorbing someone else's pain as his own? And yes, I admit he did things that hurt my heart, but in so many ways, I cannot blame him.  I think I'd forget he was an 18-year old boy who faced tragedy at such a young age.  He did not have the wisdom of someone who had more life experiences, yet he faced things no young person should have had to. So really can we blame his actions? Would we have been any different? Maybe we would have, but this was his journey.  Breaking into somewhere scary to have the strength to persevere and live again, on his terms alone.  
  
• Alice's gifts to Edward & Bella.  I won't say what they were or what they represented, but I found this part of the story to be so poignant.  It made beautiful imagery and analogy of these two people who both deserved to find happiness. 
  
• The epilogue.  The epilogue was a three-parter.  The best was obviously the final one with the "conclusion".  It made my heart explode into a pile of swoon. There was a peace in my heart that felt so rewarded for having spent so much time with these characters.  It got better from there and I love how things progressed naturally, in a way that Bella always knew it could be.  These characters had made real growth and this ending really showed it.  They were not perfect, they still had their "issues", but they were so much closer than they were at the beginning.  I cried during the last third of the story because it ended so perfectly.  It felt complete and ended with my heart knowing it had witnessed something wonderful.
  

And, what I didn't love so much...

• There is only thing I was bugged about in this story and it is so stupid, that I feel bad for even mentioning it.  OK, so there is a part of the story where Edward is watching Willy Wonka & The Chocolate Factory, but the characters refer to it as Charlie & The Chocolate Factory, which is the 2000's remake by Tim Burton.  They discuss how much better the original is, but keep calling it by the wrong name.  This error is repeated again later in the story.  I know, such a small detail.  But, it bothered me because it took me out of the story into real life.  It made me see the error and not the story for a few minutes.  I didn't want to leave the story for any amount of time. 

In conclusion, I loved HTSAL.  It was beautifully written and felt real.  It dealt with some tough issues and circumstances, but nothing felt heavy-handed, preachy, or false.  It felt like it was wirtten by someone who had first hand knowledge of her character's suffering and healing.  I feel a loss now that the story is over.  I finished it last night and am still thinking about what happened as if these things happened in real life to someone I know.

I encourage you to read this story.  It is complete so no worries about having to wait for an update.  It is worth the read.  The author has written some outtakes as well.  One from Tanya's POV, a smuttake, and some EPOV chapters.  I haven't read the outtakes yet, but only because I am still trying to digest the main story. 

Below is a fanmade storyline of the story.  It says Part 1 so I assume there will be more, especially because it doesn't tell the whole story.