Fanfic Review - Illegal Contact

Illegal Contact is the story of Edward Masen, a former NFL superstar, who after an injury retires to his family's small town of Forks and becomes a high school football coach.  He's remained fairly reclusive since moving back to his Mother's hometown and tries to keep a low profile existence.  It's not until he meets Bella Swan, who is also returning to her hometown to start over after hiding for 4-yrs since her parents were killed, that Edward finally breaks out of his hiding and finds love.

So, what did I love...

• Seth & Bella -  I always liked him in the Twilight Saga books so it was great to see him incorporated into this story.  He is Bella's brother, 9-yrs her junior.  Their relationship seems very loving and normal for an older sister who is also strapped with being the parental figure.  Bella really does try to look out for his best interests and makes decisions based on her family, not just for herself.  Yet, it didn't feel like Bella had turned into a 40-yr old woman taking care of her teenage son.  You always knew Bella was in her 20s with young adult problems.  
• Seth & Edward - I loved how Edward became a mentor to Seth and was like a big brother for him especially because Seth didn't have that fatherly/male figure in his life.  It was a sweet relationship and one they mutually benefited from.  The part where Edward asks Seth for Bella's hand was cute.
  
• The best part of the story was 2/3 into it when Edward & Bella finally fight and when they were apart for a month.  Finally some realism.  See below for more explanation.
  

And, what I didn't love so much...

• The story was too much FLUFF for me.  Sometimes I can handle that, but this one felt like it went on too long and was so sappy.  At first, they meet and they're friends, but both want something more.  Both are pining for the other, yet won't say anything.  This lasts for months!  During that time, all they do is eat dinner and watch movies together.  How many movies can two people watch?  They were boring before anything even happened.  True this was to set the tone of a friendship, but even friends would get bored doing the same thing all the time.
• The carrying.  How many times did Bella fall asleep and Edward pick her up like a child and take her to bed without her waking up.  I'm sorry, but this bothered me.  Bella is an adult woman who does not need to be carried around all the time.  Edward should be her partner, yet I felt like he wanted to take care of her in almost a parental way at times.
  
• Then finally they admitted what they were to each other and instantly start having sex.  And I get it, Edward craves Bella like a drowning man needs air, but his constant erection and the "I need you, but the first time will be fast and then I'll take it slow next time," was all the time. 
  
• The "angst" of the story was that Edward went back to playing professional football for one year and they were separated after only being together for one month.  I found it painful to read every time they said, "I miss you."  They were almost pathetic and so co-dependent.  I actual started liking the story when Edward thought Bella was pregnant and later when her past was revealed and she sort of broke up with Edward.  These sections actually showed growth in their relationship versus the incessant "I miss you" dialogue. 
  

Overall, this was an "OK" story.  It was well written, had clear plot, and concluded without questions.  The writer gave good visuals as I read, but I felt like it dragged on too long.  It could have been half the size it was.

Maybe I was in the wrong mind-frame for this story.  It is probably categorized more as fluff than anything else.  Which, don't get me wrong, is great, but usually these stories feel like filler to me.  I like my stories meaty.  I want there to be story arcs that take me on a journey so in the end, I feel like I grew with the characters.  This story did not do that for me, which is why it took me almost a month to finish it.  That's unheard of if I really like a story.