...is unexpected and can't always be planned no matter how hard you try
...takes you on a remarkable journey
...allows you to find people who will place indelible prints on your heart
...can be confusing sometimes
...is rewarding if you allow it to be
...is change
...is about discovery
...is growing and evolving to be better each day
...has led me to this place
...is a legacy and a future
...is love.
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It's been awhile since I've blogged. I apologize for my absence, but as I stated above, life can't be planned so it got away from me for a little bit. As you know from previous entries, Mr. O and I are expecting our first baby. Well, it's come down to the wire and our little bundle of joy could be here any day really. I'm currently 38.5-wks pregnant which means the countdown is definitely on.
I thought I'd take this quiet period to write about my experience so far. I know once baby comes it'll probably be awhile before I write again until I develop a good routine. And, as a first time Mom, that may be easier said than done.
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Let's just say Mr. O and I had made some pretty big plans that would change our lives and financial situation significantly in order to progress another goal to finish faster. This was to take place March 2011. That same month, we were also going to take a trip to Japan. Well, Baby O had other plans. On Jan 3, 2011, we found out we were pregnant. And from those moments of disbelief as we both stared at those double pink lines, we knew all those previous plans were no longer going to happen, at least not on the original timeline. And aren't we happy we became pregnant before we had made those changes. Also, the Japan earthquake/tsunami occurred at the same time we were planning on visiting. Baby O knew and protected us.
But those twin lines held so much fear and anxiety about the future. Were those lines true? Were we really pregnant? Were we really ready for what was to come? Was I ready? How was our life about to change? Was the baby healthy? Etc etc etc!!! I'm sure every couple goes through these worries when presented with such a great change. I fortunately was able to find a good doctor and on Jan 12, 2011, not only was it confirmed that we were indeed 8.5-wks pregnant, but for the first time, we saw our little peanut and a heartbeat. I was still filled with so much disbelief that there was a life inside of me, but I also knew I would do everything in my power to protect that life.
We have been very fortunate. Our pregnancy has not been plagued by many issues. I didn't have any morning sickness. Yes, we did have some ups/downs when it came to test results, but when investigated more thoroughly, many tests have high false positive results, especially when age is a factor. We took everything in stride, and sometimes worry on my side, but Mr. O was the rock I needed to know it would be okay. I didn't have gestational diabetes, which was a big worry of mine because it is hereditary and my Mom had it with us. That made me happy to know I didn't have to worry about that.
Work near the end was probably my biggest hurdle. Work used to be my purpose; the place I'd go to prove myself and always excel. Well, during pregnancy was no different. I attacked work with ferocity. I knew I'd be gone and wanted to make sure everything was taken care of while I was gone. However, that fever pitch of effort started taking its toll. People just demanded more, and I was only one person...who happened to be 9-mo pregnant. In the end, I was always stressed out and working way too many hours. My blood pressure started acting up and my doc took me out of work for "home rest". It's like bed rest except I don't have to be in a bed or in the house if I keep calm and don't do too much of anything.
So far so good...my blood pressure is still a tiny bit high, but not escalating, and my blood tests have been normal so far. This means, I could make it to the actual due date...or whenever Baby O decides he's had enough of his current home. Oh yeah, we're having a BOY. =) No names will be released on this blog yet. You'll have to wait like everyone else.
In my last few days/weeks of pregnancy, what do I want to remember?
- The excitement of every change that has occurred in the past months to my body knowing I was growing a human being. Not just any human being, but our baby...made with love
- The way he feels when he's moving around inside of me and kicking me. Who knows if we will be blessed with another baby, so this may be the only time I will experience this miracle.
- The emotional changes and focus it takes to know you will be responsible for another life. I understand the whole, "Your heart walking outside of your body" thing.
- The anticipation and fear over meeting him for the first time. No matter how much I read, I won't know how this experience will turn out until we actually go through it. And, I know everyone's experience is different, so this will be ours.
- The preparation: All the work we've done to make sure Baby O will have a happy new beginning. It's been so much fun preparing for his arrival.
- Mr. O: He has been the best husband in the world. I love him more today than the day I married him because he has shown me that he loves me, and our baby, with all his heart and soul. He takes care of us everyday taking on tasks we used to share just to ensure our safety and comfort. He is so excited to be a Daddy and that alone makes me so happy that I could do this for him. I cannot wait to see our little baby in his arms.
I don't know what the future holds for us, but as Life takes us on our new adventure, I know it will be filled with everything we need to succeed. As long as I have faith in that, I know it will work out. Yes, I am nervous as I wait for the tell-tale signs that Baby O is ready to come, but we've prepared for this, and I know millions of women do this all the time. In the end, I will join the ranks of "mom" and will be welcomed by a group of women who know exactly what I am going through. Mr. O and I are lucky to be surrounded by such support from everyone, and we'll get our Parent-legs in no time.
If you don't hear from me in awhile, say a little happy thought of encouragement into the wind and I will catch it while I am sleep deprived and tearing my hair out, but loving every minute of it. ;)
Hope you're all doing well.
Love you all,
Mrs. Oshimbo
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