Recently in Fanfiction Category

Today while looking at tweets, someone wrote "OMG @Twankhard you've made my morning". Being the nosy person I am, I clicked on the twitter account to see what it was.  I found a blog, and I liked it.  Check out Twankhard for news about Twilight Fanfic authors/stories they say have "twanked".  "Twanking" is doing something in the fandom that kinda makes you a tool. 

I love their list for "How Do I Avoid Twanking?":

I am not sure how many people know that I was a professional "dancer/actress/model" from around ages 8-16.  I even had my SAG & AFTRA cards to prove it.  I lived close enough to Hollywood that I could go to auditions and work if necessary.  I never hit it big, and I can make all the excuses about being Asian which fell in popularity after White, Black, Hispanic, & Red-Head, or that Big-eyed Asians were popular when I was young, or I looked too mature too fast, etc.  I could say all that is true, but in reality, if I were being truly honest, I never wanted it.  I was a good dancer, and for some time, I was a great dancer.  However, I have always been a great mimic.  You show me what you want, and I will copy it exactly.  You tell me what emotion you want me to portray, I will give you that.  But if you asked me to create or just "be" the dance/character, I probably failed.  It takes a drive that I don't have to survive Hollywood.

Yet, I will always value what I learned from my experiences and the moderate success of a few jobs that I did do.  I see some of the kids I worked with who continue to work today and I am amazed at their perseverance.  They knew at a young age what they always wanted to do and I am slightly envious of that certainty. 

My favorite musical is A Chorus Line.  I have seen it twice on Broadway in NYC, the original and the revival.  I love the movie (Michael Douglas stars as The Director, Zach).  In my everyday life, the songs in A Chorus Line will run through my head during situations where I feel I am being tested and want something. 

A Chorus Line is a musical about the audition process to choose dancers who will perform in the chorus.  The chorus are those dancers in the background who backup the stars of the show.  They aren't the ones to receive the most recognition, but for a dancer, and opportunity to even perform in any capacity in a show is a great honor, and very competitive.  This story showcases the lives of dancers to show who they are beyond amazing performers who can "mimic" a producer's vision.  They are humanized and you feel for each one of them.

The song that hits home each time I hear it is during the opening sequence of "I Hope I Get It."  It is sung by the character Paul who sings "Who Am I Anyway?". The sentiments are not just about an audition, but knowing who you are as a person. 

 

Right as I was completing that last entry, I was given a message.  It came in the form of an author asking me not to distribute a story.  I know I just said I wouldn't stop even though people were not very nice to me always, but don't you see...I should. There are no coincidences.  Based on all the time I have had my blog and have written about a subject, these two things happened way too close together.  It's like a shining light came out and illuminated an answer to an unspoken question.

Here's the scoop about me:

1. If I like something new, I say something about it
2. If I continue to like it, I may mention it, but usually will just enjoy it
3. If I start having doubts or become irritated by something, I start to question things internally
4. If something really starts to eat at me, I will finally mention it, but will pretend it doesn't actually bother me in hopes that my self pep talk will keep me from having to change things that may create a contentious situation
5. I can be OK pretending just as long as all signs indicate I have made the right decision
6. BUT, the first sign I receive that makes that inner voice go "Ruh Roh" and I pull the plug completely

This is my M.O. and I have done this often in my life.  I hate conflict and try to keep everything harmonious, even if I'm not happy about it. 


Well, it means that I am exiting the market of fanfic peddling.  What started off as a "being nice" has become "work" and if I am making authors upset by doing it, I will respect them and stay out of this distribution business. 

I know there are plenty of people out there who can still help.  I am sorry if this disappoints anyone.  I will miss the kind words and camaraderie.  I will continue to keep up my blog and as before, it will be used for me.  Maybe by taking the "work" element out of it, I will find my way to actually start reading fanfic again and end my hiatus. 

Enter - VENT

I can't believe I am going to write an entry about manners, but yes, I am. This is a personal blog for me.  The things I do or write about were all added because I wanted to add them or they helped me with something.  It could be organization (fanfic), it could be emotional, or it could be because I wanted to share something. I did not start this blog to become a business.  I'm not here to sell anything or even profit from what I do by gaining "popularity".  Ultimately, this is my vanity effort to ensure a place in this world that is me.

Well, I started a fanfiction entry awhile back because I was having a hard time organizing what I was reading and how I felt about these stories.  That was great for me to go to one entry to find everything I needed.  In that journey I started "collecting" stories so I could add them to my nook instead of needing to have internet connection to read Complete stories. I then was given "The Office" from my friend.  I thought I'd be nice and offer this story to people if they asked.  No big deal...like I said, I only do things that I want to do and I thought it'd be a nice gesture.

Well, I never knew I'd become this peddler of lost stories and how far reaching my little blog would go for people to find this story.  As time went on, I started amassing other "lost" stories that had been pulled.  Each time, I updated my blog and offered to provide a PDF copy to people if they asked for it.  Again, no biggie.  Yes, I receive 5-10 requests a day and if I don't handle them within a short time-frame I end up spending hours ensuring everyone gets what they want.  But, still I don't really have a problem with the time right now because I offered to help and I am getting involved with some very nice people. 

BUT...you knew a but had to be here somewhere...I do have some peeves that are growing and make me want to tear my hair out or shut down the entry for good. 

So I created an ongoing entry to keep all my fanfics organized, but even that seems to be becoming overdone.  I'm trying to decide how I really want to organize everything within this blog without it getting confusing for anyone to find what they're looking for.

Ideas:
-Continue as I have been
-Create duplicate entries of the same info, just updated
-Keep separate lists for the things I've read and "rated" versus what is on my To-Read list
-Write reviews for the things I just finished to coincide with the rating I have given it (but only if they are completed).

It'll probably be a work in progress until I figure it out.

To whom it may concern,

I have an addiction...

Yes.  I admit it.  I am addicted to Vampire Knight.  If you have never heard of it, I'd completely understand why.  Before Sept 2008, neither had I, but that fateful day at the Atlanta Anime Weekend, I watched 1-Hr of the anime because  I love vampires, and it had vampire in the title.  It only took about 10-Min from when I started watching the cartoon to realize, I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING THERE IS TO KNOW ABOUT VAMPIRE KNIGHT AND I MUST KNOW IT NOW!!!!