Recently in ME Category

Anniversary Wishes

Here's wishing my wonderful parents a

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I know it's not an easy road, but they are truly inspirational to actually make that "Til Death" vow come true.  Because of them, I know it takes work to make it last, but it can be done, and I can't wait until I reach our 44th anniversary (in the year 2049). 

I love you, Mom & Dad

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Happy Holidays from the Oshimbos

Sorry I haven't been updating my blog AT ALL.  I went back to work in late Oct 2011 so having a fulltime job and taking care of an infant is a lot to juggle.  Let's not forget trying to keep us fed, clothed, clean, and housed in a somewhat decently livable house as well, and the blog just seems like last priority.  I hope to strike a better balance for 2012.  
 
Until then, here's a little Holiday Cheer from our family.  This is our 2011 Christmas card.  It's BabyO's First Christmas.  He's 4-Mo old right now.  What a fun age.  He can roll onto his stomach, but not back (haha), and we see his brain just learning like the little sponge it is.  
 
I wish all of you a joyous holiday season.  I hope you are surrounded by loved ones, and if you're not, make sure to call them to tell them how much you love them.  Life is precious and we really must make the most of every moment we have together. 

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The Day the Genius Died...

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On October 5, 2011 a very dark cloud descended upon the technology world as one of the most innovative men to ever grace its presence succumbed to a long battle with cancer.  The world was left emptier without his genius light flickering in cyberspace.  His impact is felt across the globe, as we mourn the passing of Steve Jobs.  

I have only cried twice over a celebrity type figure's death; I cried for Michael Jackson, and now I have shed tears for Steve Jobs.  It's not like I knew him, or even know that much about him, but what he did and what he signified has played a huge part of my life.  I am an Apple-shipper.  Not as much as some, but a shipper none the less.  I was late to the game, but once I became one, I never let go.  I only use a PC if I am forced to.  I will anxiously await new products along with the rest of the geekdom and hope it is something I can have.  I covet Apple products when I don't even need them.  I don't even need to know that much about them because Apple's reputation precedes any smoke and mirror tricks other companies use to bamboozle you to buy inferior products. 

Like Michael Jackson, I will always remember exactly where I was when I heard the news that Steve Jobs had died.  And even if we all knew this day would come, we all hoped for a miracle that would save him.  It was a selfish request really because we just wanted him to continue to lead the most amazing company there is.  Without him Apple has failed once.  I only hope he was able to put in the groundwork to ensure it does not fail again.  Sadly, the Apple iPhone 4S was the last product released before his passing.  It came one day before.  People are clamoring to get their hands on one just to have the last Apple product Steve Jobs touched.  This after the internet railed against it one day prior.  I get it.  It's probably why I want to hug my brand spanking new MacBookPro that I just got on Sept 30th.  

Steve Jobs touched people in a way most CEOs don't because he made everyone believe in his vision.  He brought you in and you became part of an elite Apple family (even if that family has grown exponentially with iPhones and iPads).  Like my friend Warren Fu said, Steve Jobs was the Willy Wonka of technology.  He knew not just how to make products that were easy to use and gave you exactly what you wanted, but he knew how to package everything into a sexy-have-to-have exterior.  Apple has led the world in style and even if others don't want to admit it, everyone else has been trying to be better than them for a long time.  Other companies try to make the magic Apple does, and have sometimes come close, but they didn't have Steve Jobs' special touch that made the Apple product always a bit better.  I fear that magic touch is lost forever, but am crossing my fingers in anticipation of Apple's next great thing. 


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This broke my heart when I went to the Apple website Wednesday evening:
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In honor of Steve Jobs, I will list all our Apple products, past and current, to show how much of an impact Steve has had in our day-to-day lives. 

Computers:
  • Apple II - 1977
  • iMac - 2003
  • iBook (G4) - 2005
  • MacBook (Intel) - white - 2006
  • MacBook (Intel) - black - 2006
  • Mac Mini (Intel) - 2006
  • MacBook Pro - 2011
iPod:
  • iPod 3G (4 buttons + wheel) - 10GB
  • iPod 3G (4 buttons + wheel) - 15GB
  • iPod 3G (wheel only) - U2 Special Edition Black & Red
  • iPod 4G (B/W) - 40GB
  • iPod 4G (Photo) - 60GB
  • iPod 5G (Video) - 80GB
  • iPod 6G (Classic) - 120GB
  • iPod 6G (Classic) - 160GB
iPad:
  • iPad2
iPhone:
  • iPhone (Version 1) - 8GB
  • iPhone 4 - 32GB
Other:
  • Airport
  • Wireless keyboard
  • Wireless Mouse
  • Might Mouse

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I know this list is just "stuff" to most people, but to me, it means a way of life.  I just want to thank Steve Jobs for the impact he's had on my life.  The Cult of Mac is real, and our leader has left this earthly plane to better places where pain no longer will plague his mortal body.  I know he left this earth at peace with his life and legacy. I hope he's traveling on wearing his famous black turtleneck and jeans.

After he died, so many quoted his 2005 Stanford University speech.  I have had that speech blogged for awhile because it is so inspirational to read.  He truly was a great man and will be missed.  

I leave this entry with a quote from that speech.  I hope his death will inspire everyone to live their lives to the fullest and not fear.  Easier said than done, but he did it.  As he ended his speech, "Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish."

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Goodbye Steve...
WELCOME

KEOKI ALEJANDRO
Born: August 11, 2011 6:38PM Eastern
7lbs 10oz, 20 inches

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This song has much more meaning now after the birth of our beautiful baby boy. 

LULLABY

They didn't have you where I come from
Never knew the best was yet to come
Life began when I saw your face
And I hear your laugh like a serenade

How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough, is forever enough
How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough
Cause I'm never, never giving you up

I slip in bed when you're asleep
To hold you close and feel your breath on me
Tomorrow there'll be so much to do
So tonight I'll drift in a dream with you

How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough, is forever enough
How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough
Cause I'm never, never giving you up

As you wander through this troubled world
In search of all things beautiful
You can close your eyes when you're miles away
And hear my voice like a serenade

How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough, is forever enough
How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough
Cause I'm never, never giving you up

How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough, is forever enough
How long do you want to be loved
Is forever enough
Cause I'm never, never giving you up
Is forever enough
Cause I'm never, never giving you up 




PURE LOVE LIKE WE NEVER KNEW EXISTED

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<3<3<3<3<3

Happy Birthday...Maybe?

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~*~AUGUST 11, 2011~*~

Could be day we meet Baby Oshimbo!

We're being induced that day so say a little prayer for us that we have a safe delivery, and a healthy baby boy.  We know we are in good hands medically, and loving hands spiritually.  It's a super exciting and scary time, but we have waited a long time to meet our baby.  He will be welcomed into our lives with open arms that will love him always. 

Life...is love

| 1 Comment
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Life...

...is unexpected and can't always be planned no matter how hard you try

...takes you on a remarkable journey

...allows you to find people who will place indelible prints on your heart

...can be confusing sometimes

...is rewarding if you allow it to be

...is change

...is about discovery

...is growing and evolving to be better each day

...has led me to this place

...is a legacy and a future

...is love.

 

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It's been awhile since I've blogged.  I apologize for my absence, but as I stated above, life can't be planned so it got away from me for a little bit.  As you know from previous entries, Mr. O and I are expecting our first baby.  Well, it's come down to the wire and our little bundle of joy could be here any day really.  I'm currently 38.5-wks pregnant which means the countdown is definitely on.  

I thought I'd take this quiet period to write about my experience so far.  I know once baby comes it'll probably be awhile before I write again until I develop a good routine.  And, as a first time Mom, that may be easier said than done.  

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Happily Busy

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Haha, this comic strip is SO me. ;)

I purposely took a little blogging break after the A-Z Challenge because while it was fun, it was also work.  BUT, there are other reasons as well:

  1. Mr. O finished the semester at school and is taking the summer off so I have enjoyed spending time with him
  2. We are going to re-do ALL the floors in our house in preparation for the baby.  Not because the baby will notice, but because it's a good time to re-do them before the baby comes.  Plus, we'll get to enjoy them and hopefully housing prices will rebound in a few years and we'll reap "some" benefit from the upgrades done now. We are currently vetting contractors to find a good deal and time.
  3. We are reorganizing the whole house for baby. 
    • Current guest room = Baby Oshimbo's room
    • Exercise room = Guest room #1 (Monet room)
    • Office = Guest room #2 (Degas room)
    • Formal living room (i.e., room we never use) = New Office
    • Garage = Place we need to figure out how to put a futon and exercise equipment in
  4. In order to get all that done, we are doing lots of donations (Salvation Army & Friends), trash, organizing, and finagling the house that used to seem too big into one that seems like it's running out of space and baby isn't even here yet.  [And don't worry...I'm not doing ANY heavy lifting.  That's poor Mr. O's job]
  5. We're going, going, back, back, to Cali, Cali...for the weekend.  My Mom, Sister-in-Law, Sister, and Niece are hosting a baby shower for Baby Oshimbo.  We have to do it early because soon I will be in the third tri and planes don't want me on them then.  I'm excited to see some old high school friends I haven't seen since high school time.  I'm also super excited my BFF is coming to the shower.  It means a lot that she'd come share this with us.  I luv her. It means a lot that my family is hosting this for us as well. I luv them too.  =)
So that's what's going on.  Hopefully I'll get some good pics from the shower and will blog about it when I return.  Hope you have a wonderful week!

For completing the A-Z Blogging Challenge, I was given an award from fellow blogger, Elizabeth Mueller.  Here is her "Z" post with the awards for everyone who partook in the challenge.  

Here's my award:

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Heehee, I love Zebras. 
Or is Letter "O" for Ocular Migraines?

Before I get into our normally scheduled programming for the A to Z Blogging Challenge, I'd like to discuss the latest, and most bizarre, preggo side effect I had never heard of before.  I returned from a series of meetings at work and was starting to format a very detailed spreadsheet when I started to experience a strange ring of fractured light on my right peripheral vision.  It was in both eyes and caused the world to appear distorted, like a kaleidoscope, under the part that was partially obscured.  There was no pain, and closing my eyes or turning away didn't help clear my vision.  About 15-Min later, my vision gradually cleared. 

How my vision appeared
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I started googling this because it wasn't normal.  I first put in the words halo, but later changed it to kaleidoscope because it was the only word that fit the symptom.  I was provided with links talking about something called an Ocular Migraine.

I then googled to see if this was related to being pregnant, and I found that it is one of those bizarre things that can happen to a pregnant women.  Seriously, we need a book forewarning us of all these random things.  They don't know what causes it, but of course now I will be paranoid it will happen again. I have to wonder if writing four blog posts, staying up until 3am, and watching TV without my glasses on last night, then working on teeny tiny spreadsheets today has something to do with why it happened.  Let's hope a good night's sleep will solve this problem by tomorrow.

Coincidentally, today was the Letter "O", so it works out that I had an "O" word event happen to me.

Let's get on with the music, shall we?

OINGO BOINGO

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Oingo Boingo is one of those groups I inherited in that box of New Wave tapes my big brother sold me when I was younger.  I don't remember which albums I had, but I know there were about three albums in the box.  Danny Elfman has the weirdest voice, and I really dug it. (**Side note: As I have grown older I realize I like weird voices - e.g., Billy Corgan, J. Mascis, Avi Buffalo, etc**).  Most people know Oingo Boingo for songs such as Weird Science (and the movie) or Dead Man's Party.  I think people thought they were dark or twisted, and they probably were. 

And no one will object that Danny Elfman, lead singer of the group, has a signature sound, and is everywhere in so many of today's musical scores.  In fact, it wouldn't be a Tim Burton movie without some Danny Elfman music in the background.  It's as signature as Burton's movie styles are. 

So while Oingo Boingo is no more, their old music will continue to live on while Danny Elfman will continue to create new cinematic masterpieces that will capture new audiences. 

Click to see some of my favorite Oingo Boingo (or Danny Elfman) songs...
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I think I've decided to actually do this challenge.  Not a lot of restrictions, except time.  It's only for a month, so I will give it a try.  Wish me luck.

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  1. Sushi - Yummy delicious raw fish goodness with nose numbing wasabi
  2. Caffeine - I feel like that Suicidal Tendencies song, "Institutionalized" when he's begging for a Pepsi.  Except, I hate Pepsi so I'd be screaming about wanting Coca-Cola.  I also miss Thai Iced Tea, Caramel Macchiato, or even Espresso Macchiato. 
  3. High Heels - I can wear them, but they don't seem as comfortable right now as they used to be.  Plus, when I get to the top of a flight of stairs while wearing them, I feel way more tired than before.
  4. Form Fitting High Waisted Skirts - I had just bought all these adorable skirts with waists and pockets.  I really liked that whole new style I was trying.  Yeah...those were the first things to tip me off that something was amiss.  Now it's all about no tightness please.
  5. Cheeses - Blue cheese, feta cheese, goat cheese, Mexican cheeses, Brie, etc etc etc.  I never realized that every cheese I really like would end up being on the "forbidden" list.  This really cramps my eating style at Greek restaurants or when I really want fried green tomatoes with goat cheese. 
  6. Medium Rare Steaks - I admit it...I love my food practically raw or bloody.  A good steak should never come out charred and blackened. 
  7. Shrimp - Since becoming pregnant, I have a real aversion to shrimp which is odd because I used to love it.  Worst thing is it's on the OK list, but each time I try it, it tastes nasty
  8. Concerts - I have been trying to only pick events where I know it'll be ventilated and no mosh pits will be formed.  This means I have been missing some great shows already this year.  In fact, I think we'll only be attending two this year (compared to 20ish last year)
  9. My Sanity - Since becoming preggo, I have more things to worry my mind with.  Things that never crossed my mind before have now invaded the space occupied by ignorant bliss.  I guess this feeling will continue for the rest of my life.  It's something I am looking forward to, but in the beginning, it's a little overwhelming
  10. There is no #10.  I know all of these things are temporary, and I really don't miss any of them that much.  The joys outweigh any 9-mo break or change I must make.  Notice alcohol wasn't on this list.  I don't miss it because I think I don't really care for it that much anyways.  I know once the baby comes my #1 thing I'll miss will probably be sleep.  Until then, is it nap time yet?  ;)
 

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*I'm not trying to solve anything with this post; I just had had some thoughts and needed to expel them.*

As a women who works in a corporate office, I tend to try to analyze things, especially behavior.  That's probably just my personality that wants to know what makes people motivated to do whatever behavior they are exhibiting, versus it being a characteristic of being a woman.  However, I have seen some interesting things in my time working. Here are some observations I have made (all purely my opinion):

  1. The highest ranking woman in my company belongs to HR.  HR seems to be VERY women-centric, so promotions for women seem more normal
  2. I used to have a very high-ranking female who ran our Engineering and Operations departments for the whole company.  She was exceptionally smart and I felt like she had to work harder to prove how smart she was to overcome some of her nerdiness.  Yet, when she spoke, she always garnered appropriate attention because she had a mild authoritarianism that was inspirational.  I looked up to her for achieving what she had achieved, but I bet her road had not been easy.
  3. When I was starting out, it was more common to have equality between men and women.  If women were promoted, it was based more on skill set versus positions that extended beyond the lower echelons.
  4. However, when I did receive a promotion that was beyond the norm, I received much backlash from men who felt I was not deserving.  I was even told I must have compromised my values and provided oral favors to receive what I had received. 
  5. Women don't have very many good women role-models in business to follow.  And because there are so few, when one falls, it seems the whole gender is blamed for it.
  6. Women are brutal and tougher on other women.  Women will stab another women in the back more than they would another man.  Women see other women as a threat that must be eliminated.  I once experienced some very catty behavior against me, early in my career, from two high ranking (older) women. As I walked in front of them, they acted like two teenagers at the mall making fun of other girls walking by.  I felt like this was incredibly petty, especially considering how accomplished these two women were. Why was I their target?
  7. Women try to play both sides of the gender game and yet don't get why other women may find that offensive. I see some women try to "be a man" one moment (dressing in slacks and dress shirts only) and acting agro, then play a "dumb blonde batting eyelashes" game the next.   I say be true to yourself instead of using stereotypical methods to get what you need.
  8. Some women employ control and degradation tactics to gain complicity.  They beat others (men and women) down to make others fear them.  Many times I see this as a lack of self-esteem.  They don't want to appear weak or have others question their motives.  Sadly, I have also seen this behavior rewarded time and time again.  Is this what it means to be more like a man?  Do men do this, yet it's so normal for them to do that I don't even recognize it as a bad thing?
  9. Kiss-assness is often mistaken for ambition. Men seem to want women seeking out their help.  They want to feel needed.  When a women is too self-sufficient, she is seen as not having ambition. 
  10. I don't want to have to conform into a man's world to be accepted as equal.  I don't want to have to conform to a dress code nor take up golf just to fit it.  If that means I will always be seen as a fringe contributor to the work-force, I probably would feel more comfortable being true to myself and knowing I didn't compromise nor hurt others to get to where I was.
I have been treated fairly well; however, I could list the infractions against me that have occurred because of my gender.  I know we have it better than a lot of places as far as equality, but when your company is still majority male, being a female will always seem like being an alien at times.

What has been your experience?

I've been keeping a secret...

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funny-pictures-bear-secrets.jpgHave you ever kept a secret? It's weird when you have to, especially when you're normally very open about things going on in your life.  However, I found it's also nice to keep secrets for a little while.  I mean some people were given access to this secret, but for the most part, it was an insulated bubble of knowledge, and I enjoyed that exclusivity a lot. 

It did bring about some unforeseen consequences though. Because I couldn't talk about what I wanted to talk about, I found I had little else to speak about.  Everything else felt inconsequential compared to this monumental secret.  I also found I didn't really speak to people anymore, except for Mr. O, fam, and le BFF (mostly because they were in on the secret and that's what I wanted to talk about).  Because of this some people seemed to think I was purposely ignoring them; however, didn't actually ask me about it, nor did they try to ask how I was.  All that combined with what I was withholding made for a few tense and stressful weeks. 

Well, even now as I have let the cat out of the bag on my social networking sites, I am cautiously optimistic.  Sometimes these secrets are better contained in their vacuums.  It's harder to reign in information once it has escaped.  I can only hope I made the right decisions telling people our news.  I have been overwhelmed by the outpouring of support and happiness from others.  To see others affected by our news in such emotional ways, makes me feel really special and loved.  I am honored to have the friends that I have. 

So what is this secret?  I'm sure you can figure it out from the picture below.  I am getting a very big and very permanent birthday present this year, and we couldn't be more happy.  This is the next step in the journey of our lives and how fortunate to be able to have this life at all.  Plus, I get to share this with my cousin who is experiencing the same thing and that makes me overjoyed. We are the same age and both Year of the Rabbit, so to have this happen to both of us on another Year of the Rabbit makes it extra special.   

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We'll keep you posted on our progress and new journey.  It's always a miracle to know that life can take you to a place you didn't know you could go until you're already on the path. 
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We see it everywhere...starting right after Dec 25th officially ending the Christmas season.  Yup, it's that time again, Valentine's Day.  I don't know any other "holiday" that fills so many people with different emotions.  I think it's even worse than Christmas or getting older each year.  Valentine's Day is used as some kind of status symbol and for many, it just stresses them out.  Even those who are "truly, madly, deeply" in love feel the stress of expectation and slight competitiveness.  How much is too much to show your undying love and devotion?  Is it one giant teddy bear?  Or is it 10 dozen special imported roses?  Or maybe it must sparkle brighter than the North Star?

lolcats_Iluvu.jpgI am grateful that I am not swept up in the stresses of V-Day anymore.  Call it marriage or security, but the days of feeling some need to impress (aka "one-up) my husband aren't as strong as they were at the beginning of our courtship.  I'd rather impress him with things we decide together than with some over the top gesture that won't be remembered as well as building a solid relationship based on love and respect.  It doesn't mean I've lost my romantic spirit.  It just means we have switched priorities a bit.  Besides, I'd rather go more out on his birthday because that day is his alone. (Also, this V-Day we are giving ourselves a VERY nice present so no complaints from this girl)

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But, I totally get why people are freaking out all around me.  There are some in fledgling relationships who want magic to strike and hope with all their might that this is the perfect moment that will make someone see how perfect they are for them.  That's a lot of pressure.  I know how hard it is when all you want is for someone to love you back as much as you think you love them.

LOLCat_loveme.jpgSadly, maybe no matter how hard you try, it's not really "true love".  You can't make someone love you back.  Bonnie Raitt taught us that in her heartbreaking song, "I Can't Make You Love Me".  It's not the end of the world though.  I think if that other person doesn't love you the way you think you should be loved, it wasn't really love anyways.  I say this not to be cruel, but to be realistic because when real love does strike, it's not just about someone seeing you as flawless.  That is a myth and can't last.  It's about someone accepting your flaws, but most importantly, it's about you accepting your flaws and owning up to them.  If you constantly try to MAKE someone think you're the right person, you're definitely the WRONG person.  The right person already sees you clearly and accepts every part of you.

LOLcat_singleawarenessday.jpgI can hear you saying it already..."But I don't want to be alone."  Who does?  That doesn't mean that love has to be romantic on V-Day.  When I was single, I enjoyed doing things with friends that we all loved to do.  It wasn't a bitter harpies club.  It was a day to celebrate independence and optimism that we'd find the right person, but also that we would always have the support of our friends too. I think it's sad when someone invests so much time trying to please others that they get lost and eventually start blaming everyone else for their misfortune.  Eleanor Roosevelt was a very inspirational woman, and she said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."  You better believe that is 100% true.  We all know that those who pretend they don't need love or reject feelings probably needs more love than most people.  It's scary to be vulnerable, but I think it's a lonely road to go it all by yourself.

funny-pictures-basement-cat-wants-a-valentine-too.jpgIn the end, we are all humans, and we all crave personal attention to some degree.  Some are more needy than others, or maybe they're just more vocal about their needs than others.  Some may be struggling in silence.  So I say, on this Valentine's Day, be kind to your fellow man.  Don't create false expectations that will ultimately be broken, especially if you don't have the guts to be honest in the first place.  Smile at strangers or do something out of your nature like eat lunch with the person who is always alone.  You may just make that person's day, and it may save your heart too. 

I love you all.  Have a good Valentine's Day no matter how you feel about it.  If it's just another ordinary Monday, then have the best Monday you can have.  It will be over before you know it.

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Grievances & Observations of the Day

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Just some thoughts for the day:

  1. A good credit score IS totally worth it. You CAN own the world with "Excellent Credit", but you will have to pay it back with interest.
  2. Supply and demand when it's not in your favor really blows. Just make more of them, dammit!
  3. If you don't want someone to see something, then don't write it in a public place.  If you wanted someone to see it, then it's just childish to play silly passive aggressive games. 
  4. I am the suckiest haggler on the planet.  I would never be able to function in one of the barter societies.  I would always end up giving away one too many of my precious goats.  Sales people scare me with their trickery. 
  5. Sometimes compromise is hard because of emotional investment blocking that logical part of your brain that ensures you're actually using your brain and not just your heart.
  6. I consider myself extremely lucky, even if I get extremely frustrated at times.
  7. I'm giving up the teal hair today and will most likely end up with some form of blue or purple instead.  To most it'll probably just look like my hair is all black until the color brightens a little, but I'll know it's there.
  8. Just like Morrissey, "I never wanted to kill, I AM NOT NATURALLY EVIL. Such things I do just to make myself more attractive to you. HAVE I FAILED ?" ~So it's an exaggeration, but sometimes I think things like this too. 
  9. Some things run their course and when they're done, they're done.  It's no one's fault.  No blame will be dealt. Some things are just not that permanent.
  10. I am a Worry Bear. As much as I try not to be, I am.  I wish I was more cavalier and optimistic, but I am always thinking about the "What If's".  It can be exhausting, but I'm working on it.

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What does "Grown Up" mean?

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When I was little, my parents seemed old because they were my parents and that meant they were grown ups.  However, as I got older, age became a relative measure of personal growth and differences in ages could shrink or expand depending on the person.  I knew some people who are the same age as me, yet I felt so much older and more mature than them.  In converse, I see what some of my high school classmates have accomplished since we graduated and I am amazed by them.  I also wonder if I accomplished anything in comparison.

So I am left wondering when did we become grown ups and what does that really mean? When I turned 18, I still lived under my parent's roof, ate their food, and needed their guidance *and money*.  Then, when I graduated from college at 20 and began working in the real world, I still lived with my parents, yet was making very good money for my age.  Plus, I was working in a "real" job where my actions had consequences and I was held to certain standards.  Much like school, yet my livelihood depended on my employment. So, is that when I became a grown up?

Hard to tell considering life experiences have shaped me to be who I am.  I had to experience good and bad things before I started to feel truly independent.  It wasn't just about being able to support myself, buying a house or a car, or living on my own.  It was also a mental leap into knowing I had responsibilities.  I couldn't rely on falsehoods or playing dumb to make it.  I couldn't pretend it'd be okay when I needed to own my decisions.  I couldn't not control things such as money and my spending just because I wanted something I probably didn't need. 

Mentally, I feel like a grown up most days, but I also have this deep yearning and reflection of times passed by.  I want to relive experiences that I didn't have when I was younger because I can now and this time I'll enjoy them more.  I share my life with someone because I know he is the only one I would ever want to spend forever with.  I don't take it for granted that he has chosen me as well.  It's not always easy, but we communicate and are selfless at times, but don't give away everything.  We don't lose ourselves into co-dependency. 

So...am I a "grown up"?  By all definitions, sure, but, I still have fears that I am not grown up enough.  Like I missed some life experiences and am not prepared for my future.  I guess this is completely natural.  I also hope life has prepared me in more ways than I even knew.

In the end, it's just a word, and it's also a mentality.  I will be as grown up as I need to be, but choose to not lose all those parts of me that make me childlike and see wonder in the world.  I don't want to be a stodgy adult who is burnt with cynicism.  I want to be happy and enjoy this one life to the fullest. 

I didn't really answer the question did I? ;)

funny-pictures-kitten-is-excited-for-christmas.jpgThere are many reasons why we choose to give presents during the holidays.  Some reasons may include obligation or custom, but deep down, I think there's more to why we do it. Here is a list of reason why I may choose to give gifts:

  1. I love you
  2. You are my friend and I want you to know how important that friendship means to me
  3. I wish I could give gifts to everyone all the time, but I can't, so I hope this one present shows you what you mean to me
  4. I find joy in making others happy, and it's not about reciprocation
  5. Shopping for others is almost as satisfying as shopping for myself. ;) However, if I shop online, I feel like I'm getting a present too because I get to open the boxes to see which item has arrived.
  6. It's exciting to wonder what someone looks like when they open what you gave them.  That anticipation contains a nervous fun.
  7. I like wrapping paper (it's true Mr. O, I do)
  8. The hunt - Coming up with ideas for what to get someone, and then finding it is thrilling
  9. The aftermath - After all the presents have been opened, there is a quiet as everyone looks at what they received.  Most people are usually smiling, and feel happy during that time.  I wish we all felt like that always.
  10. It's a sort of atonement for me.  It's my way of asking your forgiveness for any time during the year that I wasn't the best friend, spouse, family member, etc to you.  It's not much, but it's a small way to say thank you and forgive me all at once.  (This one is selfish, but it's my list and it's what I feel).
So, during the holiday season, I hope people don't get hung up on the materialism of thinking they are forced to reciprocate.  I don't do things expecting something back.  I do things because I want to spread joy and happiness. If we can't feel grateful to be alive, have friends, loved ones, pets, or fun in our lives, then any present will be marred.  I want us to only feel the joy of knowing we are all loved by someone, even ourselves.  That's right...it's OK to give yourself a present too (we all know we should ask ourselves forgiveness for not being the best we can be to that person in the mirror).

Happy Holidays to All! 

Tis the Season...TO FREAK OUT!

funny-pictures-kitten-is-waiting-in-tree-for-santa-claus-420x300.jpgIf you're anything like me, Christmas is a wonderful time of year, but it also comes with STRESS.  I know I should think about Christmas shopping before Thanksgiving, but time always gets away from me.  It's like my birthday in August, followed by Dragon*Con over Labor Day, JapanFest and Anime Weekend Atlanta a few weeks later, Mr. O's birthday in October, Fall concert season, and next thing I know it's already Thanksgiving.  This year added the fun of having visitors twice in November. And I do mean that sincerely.  

So here I am, on Dec 13th, and guess what? I somehow completed most of my shopping, wrapped, boxed, and shipped my gifts to all the corners of America.  How did I do this?  Well, I figured I couldn't make time stand still so I had to make time more efficient.  I made my normal Christmas list spreadsheet with names, gift ideas, budgeted amount, actual amount spent, and the difference above or below budget.  This year the list got altered, but names come and go, and some re-added.  It just happens.  We budget for a certain amount each year, but we don't beat ourselves up for going above.  After all, that list also includes a lot of December and January birthdays (double presents). 

After that was completed, I hit the interwebz and did comparison shopping, browsing, and some shopping.  I have Amazon Prime so I took advantage of that (It's a $75/yr subscription for 2-day FREE shipping).  For me, it pays for itself on any Monday when I realize it's someone's birthday in California on Wednesday.  I have been saved by Prime many times over. 

So in the end, I did venture outside to some stores, but I tried to buy mostly online instead.  For some things I shipped it directly to my Mom's because I'll be there for Christmas this year and didn't want to have to take it on the plane.  For other things, I had it shipped to my house so I could wrap and package with the rest of the stuff. 

Yesterday I wrapped.  Mr. O says I have a wrapping paper addiction.  But, really, how can you resist amazing prints for $2.50?  A worthy investment I think.  It's too bad I can't take some of my newly purchased paper with me to Cali so I could wrap all my stuff in the same paper.  Oh well.

Today I shipped out five boxes.  They'll all arrive by the week's end.  That means, I am over a week ahead of schedule.

This also means, I have less to do while on vacation and can concentrate on fun.  Le sis and I already have plans to hit up Melrose for some Betsey, Tarina, and Kid Robot shopping.  I also hope to fit in a trip to Disneyland.  It's always so pretty during the holidays and I love the Nightmare Before Christmas themed out Haunted House. 

This is not meant to sound like I'm gloating.  I'm just proud I figured out a way to make life less stressful for myself for once. I hope you're doing well and not freaking out.  If you are, I bet some egg nog with rum would help. ;)

*I do have a few people on my list that I am in a literal quandary as to what to get them.  That part always feels frustrating.  But, we'll figure it out.  I hope.   


One of those weeks...

lolcats-funny-pictures-questionmark.jpgThis week started off with a lot of questions and uncertainty.  Working for a corporation means you have to be prepared for the unexpected, and no one is really ever secure.  The new work force is not one where tomorrow holds a guarantee for your future employment.  I found out our department was dismantled and each piece would be moved to other areas.  With this change came some layoffs as well.  However, I was still employed and the new place I was moved to was promising, if not familiar (my old stomping grounds).  I kept my hopes up and wished for the best.

lolcat hausuck.jpgWhile this is hardly the response I got (we are professionals after all), this is what my ego heard.  Somehow, by some will and strength I didn't even know I possessed, I kept my cool and didn't have a breakdown, not even a little one.  If anyone knows me, I hardly ever can keep my emotions at bay.  I wear my heart on my sleeve quite often.  I don't know what it was that glued me together, but I am proud of it.  Yet, it may have come off that I was "OK" with the changes which is not the case either. Cool as a cucumber may have been too cool.
 
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I got to my office, put my stuff down, then rushed to the safety of the ladies room before the reality of what I heard, and that mocking laugh in my head (that thing called a super bruised ego), pulled apart whatever glue was holding me together.  Then, because I'm a girl, I was embarrassed to be feeling so emotional over these decisions because women in business are supposed to be more like men (or so we're told by men, which is WRONG).  I'm supposed to get angry, not sad, right?  Because isn't anger the only acceptable emotion boys are taught to express as they grow up and become men?  Well, I was being betrayed by my gender, yet couldn't hide in the bathroom all afternoon.  I calmed myself down and headed back to my office with my head high, and my heart in my gut. 

This facade lasted all of about 20-sec because Mr.O walked by, saw my fake veneer, and it instantly melted away. He's the one person I can be completely open with about my emotions so I let them out.  He told me the things I wanted to hear, but also things I didn't want to hear or things I didn't want to do.  He told me I needed to be brave and confront this head on and demand equal respect.  It took a lot of convincing.  Not because I don't think I deserve it, because damn right I do, but because it was fear that I'd be labeled as a complainer, a troublemaker, or worse.  I mean, the meeting I had where I was told my fate was the very first meeting with my potential boss (he's the boss-man, but not my boss now).  It was my first impression and I didn't want to screw it up. Sometimes, okay, all the time, I already feel like I don't belong here amongst the cookie-cutter all-American "normal" people, but to make myself stand out even more is a little unnerving for me, if it would look negative.  I know people are uncomfortable with someone they can't relate to. They can't talk Fantasy Football or hunting or NASCAR with me. And I can't talk music, concerts, vinyl toys, nerd stuff, politics, or uniqueness with them. We don't hang out in the same areas, nor could we even resort to the kid's conversation. I wish work product stood alone and we were judged by that only, but I know that's not how it works.  If I want something, I have to go get it.  No one will hand me anything.

Others came and went and this is what most suggested:

kitteh-Drinking.jpegWhich would lead to this:

sadcat_drownedit.jpgAnd while that may work for some, hiding underneath an illusion of alcohol doesn't really work for me.  I like to feel and alcohol would only exacerbate the situation.  I needed to clear my head and get to a place of detachment.  I needed to find my logical center of my brain buried underneath the rubble of my crumpled feelings. 

I slept on it.  But, I had the worst dream.  Basically, a bear tried to bite my left hand off as I was defending a little dog and I felt every single tooth crushing my little hand.  I knew the power of the bear and I understood that I had no chance of keeping my hand.  My arm was a chicken bone to this bear.  I don't know how I escaped, but the memory of that bear attack stayed with me when I woke up.  However, I was resolved and I was going to do what I needed to do. I was going to face the bear.

lol_cat_hang_in_there.jpgI walked proudly into my newly assigned boss' office and said, "Morning Boss," to signify I was okay with the decision. Because, really, this part of the change was good.  I was not upset over the new department, our possible new charter, or new opportunities to do something different.  I always want to be included in something from the ground up that can have significant impact on an organization.  And, my new boss is a good person who I have known for awhile. 

I was able to tell my new boss how I was feeling and be honest with him.  I foresee this being a good place for me.  He's already proven to me that he will be what I want in a boss.  For this, I am grateful.  He helped stage the scene so I could speak my thoughts to the higher-ups without it being awkward or too formal.  In the end, I had accepted my fate, said what I wanted to say, yet maintained dignity, enthusiasm, and professionalism.  I did not get defensive or combative. 

Yes, I make this seem too simple.  That day was NOT easy.  The emotion monster still crept up and reared its stupid face, even though I thought I felt fine.  Sometimes, I guess it takes awhile for the mind and body to syncronize. 

I really want to thank Mr. O for being my rock.  He is supportive, listens, and makes me feel better when I want to feel sorry for myself.  He doesn't placate me, but really tries to give me encouragement to do things he thinks I should because I deserve them.  I am lucky to have someone like him in my life. 

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That would be me and Mr. O above =)

In the end, one of my ex bosses said it best.  He told me, "Who cares what title they give you, or what job classification you receive, nothing will matter if you're not happy.  In the end, happiness is the only thing we should strive to be."  Ah, yes, makes me miss having him as a boss.  This is so true, and it is something I have been thinking about a lot over the past year.

This is a job.  This is not who I am.  It is what I do to have the life I want.  I have two options: wallow in my own self-pity, or take every advantage of an unknown opportunity to see if I can make something great.  If in the end my talents are not recognized, I will move on because my job will never define me.  Only I have the ability to define myself.  And, if I find happiness, then my work is done. 

Related posts and/or articles:

I LOVE DEVO!

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DEVO logo.jpgYes, yes, I love the band too, but in this instance, I am referring to my little sister.  Her name is Devin and our last name (my maiden name) starts with an 'O', so she's been DEV-O or Devo forever.  It's a good thing she's uber-awesome and loves the 80's or else the title of Devo may not be so fitting.

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Well, Devo came to visit us in Atlanta for Thanksgiving last week and we had so much fun.  Her visit made me realize, even more, how much I miss California.  I miss being able to be to just hang out with my family.  I miss being able to eat, or shop, or be goofy together.  I miss being able to talk about important things like our futures and relationships.  I miss just knowing how she's doing on a daily basis.  We both lead busy lives so we mostly stay in touch via Twitter, Facebook, Texts, or Instagram.  Without these social networking outlets, I'd be worse off than I am, but nothing compares to face-to-face time with family.

Devo will be hitting a milestone on Dec 2nd.  She'll be turning the big 21.  *OK, I'm going to admit my age on the internet, but it was bound to happen eventually*  Devo and I are 14 years apart.  I was the baby before she was born.  For the beginning of her life, I was almost another parent or she was my living doll.  It wasn't until she was older that we became such good friends.  As she became a teenager, we started morphing into similar people without even being near each other that often.  Years back my cousin asked our family to assist with a genetic lab experiment for her then boyfriend's PhD (now husband).  Our whole family provided DNA and they were able to analyze it.  It came back that Devo and I had the most similar DNA out of ALL family members (immediate and extended).  So genetically, it seems Devo and I are meant to be alike.

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  We both like growing 'staches...

dev_me_xmas sweater.jpgWe also like *cough* despise *cough* Christmas sweaters...

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But mostly, we like being together and enjoying each other's company.

So, Devo, thank you for being the greatest sister anyone could want.  I am so proud of all your accomplishments and I know your future is unwritten, but primed for your taking.  You have a talent and drive most wish for, and with that, I know you will succeed.  I may not "get" AmAppy and all its weird shiny 80's exercise clothing, but I "get" you.  I love that you take chances with your fashion and hair, just like I like.  You make me feel normal when we're together because without you nearby, people stare at me like I'm a martian (or Japanese tourist).  Together, we're just two girls with strong identities for what we like and what's cool.  I love how caring and forgiving your heart is.  But don't let anyone take advantage of the consideration you bestow upon them.  They should receive these attributes as prized gifts.  You are a special woman.  It's hard to believe you'll be 21. Where has the time gone? I love you Devo!

Happy Birthday Lil Sis!
(birthday on Dec 2)

I hope you're Walking on a Dream this year

ICE Atlanta - Nov 20, 2010

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Today I talked Mr. O into going to the Indie Craft Experience (ICE) in Atlanta.  I heard about it last year, but didn't make it out.  This year, because of Twitter and some blogs, I knew more about it, plus wanted to meet people I followed (Twitter, blogs, tumblr, etc).  It's a 2-day event where local artists sell their homemade crafts ranging from jewelry, hair accessories, cards, toys, clothes, food, paintings, art, etc.  I definitely wanted to go on the first day of the event to ensure early pickings of these one of a kind goods. 

The event was held in kind of a sketchy part of town at the Ambient Plus Studios.  Parking was tight and the sidewalks displayed activity I don't care to speak of here, but it skeeved me out all the same. >.<  There was a truck selling food outside, but it wasn't just hot dogs and hamburgers.  This truck sold fancy truck food.  I didn't eat any because we had breakfast earlier at Ria's Bluebird Cafe.  Coincidentally, the girl who took our money recognized me because she too was having breakfast at the same place when we were there.  I recognized her by her cool glasses and headband and she recognized me by my glasses and hair/headband (I guess like minded people are drawn to each other). 

Inside we went and we were greeted by a room buzzing with activity.  There were booths set up throughout a good sized space.  I told Mr. O that I wanted to start at the back and work my way back to the front/exit.  It was CROWDED.  I guess everyone had the same idea to go early.  The crowd was mostly female of all ages, but there were some men there too (shopping and vendors).  Everyone was very friendly and it felt good to support local artisans.

Come and check out what I bought -->

i_listen_to_bands_that_don_t_even_exist_yet.gifSo this morning I was driving to work and heard the DJ announce on a very Top 40 radio station, "Here's a new song from Florence + The Machine. It's called, Dog Days Are Over.  And if you haven't seen it, there's a very cute youtube video of a baby dancing to this song."  Now, I did keep the station on the song because I do like it, but it did make me tweet the following rant.  (It's only been altered since this morning to make it easier to read and to fix a few typos).  

A little non-consequential observation rant by Mrs. O:

I love music. Maybe not as much as those who dedicate their time to create music blogs I follow, but enough that I value music as something that defines me. I usually tend to be more on the indie/alternative music sector. I don't know hiphop/rap or pop very well, but I like to stay up to date on new bands/music ventures.

HOWEVER, I'm a hypocrite. I want people to KNOW great music. I wish more people listened to artists I think are amazing. Yet, the MINUTE these bands find commercial success, I start getting turned off of them. I start feeling like they "sold out to the machine" and aren't "genuine" anymore. I judge them harshly and unfairly for doing what I kinda wanted them to do from the beginning...succeed.

So, why do I start resenting them? Well, for one, they become "radio friendly" with usually one hit only. Then we have to hear Top 40 DJs say things like, "coming up, new song from Florence...," when I've been listening to Dog Days Are Over before the dog days ended. I have to see tweets that say, "I discovered so-in-so a month ago so I'm responsible for their success". I have to see people who don't appreciate how awesome any of their other work is buy up all the concert tickets (for a fricken stadium because that's where you go when you become "radio friendly") and stand around not even listening to the band while drinking beer and taking pictures and only paying attention when "your jam" comes on even though you scored better seats than me.

I guess I'm just sad that no one listened when I said they were great, but now that Julia Roberts is involved, they become a "one hit wonder" to mainstream. They no longer belong to me. They belong to the Walmarters who saw the movie. It's not the band's fault, but I lose interest anyways.

~Diane

This is not a diss against Florence AT ALL.  In fact, I encourage everyone to buy her album Lungs.  I first heard her in mid 2009 after Kiss With a Fist was featured on a TV show.  I bought her EP A Lot of Love, A Lot of Blood and wore it out.  Lungs came out July 2009 and I bought it the day it came out.  So, as you can see, it's purely luck, or really hard work, that a band makes it to radio/mainstream.  Their break came w/ being featured on the Eat, Pray, Love trailer which was shown before MANY Summer 2010 blockbusters.  It's a great infectious song.

I just want people to love music the way I love music. I want to experience the feeling of seeing a band play a small club where you can see them and talk to them.  You can see the fire before the corporate machine makes them into something they may not be.  Or before the band spits on those who made them popular and becomes primadonnas (I'm talking to you, KOL).

I won't lose my fire for these bands if they don't lose their fire for good music.

Deal? Let's shake on that.
    








The happy baby dancing to Florence that everyone is talking about

Busy Busy Busy Busy

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This will be a quick post just to let everyone know I shouldn't be posting anything because I am busy at work.  It's quarterly metrics time and guess who is up to her eyeballs in spreadsheets and powerpoint?  Yup, that'd be me.

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But don't worry, I'll unbury myself eventually.  However, this does mean I won't be posting much this week.  I have deadlines to make and I must finish everything so I can have my mini vacation time with @jhenry47.  She's coming in on Oct 30th and we have a 3 day concert bender planned with Jonsi, Interpol, & Ra Ra Riot. 

So to give you something to look at, here are some cute LOLCats that involve work:

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Are they accepting applications for this job? I'd be perfect for it.

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The joys of cubicle life

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Again, another job I'd love...window display

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My mood at work most days ;)

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Everything is scheduled nowadays

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Where's this guy when I need him?

HAVE A GREAT WEEK EVERYONE!

Happy Birthday to my Favorite Man!

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On a Thursday long ago, a day just like today, on October 14th, my husband was born.  The year is not important because age is a relative thing.  When we were 5, 10 seemed grown up, and 20 was ancient.  The older we get, the farther away "old" actually seems.  The important thing to remember is Mr. Oshimbo was born, thus pushing him into the world on a path that would ultimately lead him to me.  I am the lucky one that found the gift that is him and I hope I cherish him everyday, not just on his birthday.  But, on his birthday, I hope he feels even more loved.
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On this birthday, we celebrated a few days early because Mr. O is busy today.  We spent the weekend doing things that we both loved and it was wonderful.  The above picture is from our dinner at Canoe in Atlanta.  It was our 2nd (or 3rd - according to Mr. O who has no memory, but seems to remember being at this restaurant twice before this time, even though I only recall one evening there) time eating there.  It's ranked in the Top 5 of Atlanta restaurants.  The meal was amazing, as was the company.  They surprised him with a decorated dessert. 

Here are some pics of Mr. O's other birthday presents.  You're probably thinking we're both going through mid-life crises with these gifts, but I say you can never be too old to have fun and enjoy life.

Mr. O's new skateboard & time at the skate
park to ride his board or his BMX bike
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Mr. O's DEVO gear because you
can't Whip It without it
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The Main Course:
A REAL Jack in the Box Jack Head!!
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For those who don't know Mr. O, his favorite fast food restaurant is Jack in the Box (JITB) and his favorite food from there are their 2 for 99-cent tacos.  Living in GA, we no longer have a JITB on every corner, but have found some "close" by in South Carolina.  At least twice a year, we road trip almost 3-hrs just to eat JITB fast food.  We spend more on gas than the food's worth, but the joy is in the adventure.  And because JITB is Mr. O's favorite place, he also LOVES Jack.  I figured this was the perfect way to allow him to show his love.

There are a few more presents that sadly did not make it on time, but should be arriving over the next few days.  They're small things, but hopefully Mr. O will like those as well. 

I love you Baby!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

You are being watched...

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~This post is brought to by PARANOIA~

Random thought as I was showering this morning:
How many times have I been caught in a
stranger's pictures or video recordings? 


Seriously, haven't you ever looked at your pictures and there's a clear shot of strangers in it.  We dismiss them as no ones, but that could be us in someone else's footage.  And, they could be posting your photo online where your face is now available on the interwebz for all to see, but we'll never know it.  Then add surveillance cameras into the mix.  How many times are we caught by a store camera, a traffic light camera, or a random city camera?  I looked it up.  The average American is caught on tape 8-10 times EVERY DAY! 

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It's a good thing I am not superstitious or I might believe a piece of my soul was being stolen by these strangers randomly capturing me in their photos. 

I don't know if I really care if I'm that person the owner wants to crop out of a picture.  I don't think I am that private that I can't expose myself to others, even if unbeknown to me.  Like I started with...this was just a random thought I had.  No one is stalking me because I randomly showed up in a photo, and my soul is in tact for now.  But think about it during your daily life.  How many times do you spot a camera somewhere, or how many times have you seen someone take a cell phone picture and you're behind the subjects?

It happens...a lot. I guess the best thing to do is not get caught doing something embarrassing or else you could become an internet meme, and then maybe only then is your soul being eaten by a random photo.  

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Sometimes I look around and realize I'm not like the people around me.  Maybe it's because of where I currently live, but I think I've always walked a different path with a beat in my head no one else could hear or wanted to.  This does not make me weird.  I do not feel like an outcast.  Actually, I embrace my uniqueness (Which isn't unique at all when you think about how many people are exactly like me, but I haven't met them yet. I've seen them and I know they exist).

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-SEE! I'm the happy yellow tomato- 

I decided to make this post about the
10 Things "Most" People Seem to Like, but I Don't Get Why

#1 - SPORTS
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Look at them, so bonded and color coordinated. Everyone is together for the same goal...beat some other team or person or score.  They get together to root on their teams, they tailgate, they party when they win, they commiserate when they lose, they find comfort in their sameness.  Maybe it's because the game part is so boring to me, but add to that all the hoopla and I'm out.  *I do like the Lakers (hometown team) and can stand to watch B-Ball.

#2 - AVATAR
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So much hype for one movie that is now the highest grossing film of ALL TIME! Really? WHY? I heard this a lot, "It's visually stunning."  But who cares how great it looked when the story was so blech.  And really, that's the best alien race you could come up with Mr. Cameron? Enlarged Smurfs with sexified tails? My Dad saw this movie like 3 or 4 times in the theater and raved so he made us go.  Sorry Dad...I was bored for over 2-Hrs of it.

#3 - WALMART
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I won't even justify giving them the same size picture as the rest of the list.  I know they have low prices and for some areas it's the only place to shop, but do we really want one big-box telling us what we can/cannot buy?  Like, if it isn't sold at Walmart it doesn't exist? What about all those products and people who won't bend to the megamart's demands? They get pushed out by the giant.  Plus, they have shoddy records concerning killing small business and being a-holes to women. If I could ban ever going there...I WOULD.

#4 - PANTS,JEANS, SHORTS
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Oh these long legged, skinny, flat stomached models make them so hot.  And they change so often: Mom Jeans/High Waisted/Acid Wash/Stone Wash/Ripped/Cutoff/Jorts/Low Waisted/Butt-Crack Cleavage/Dark Finish/Bell/Boot/Loose/Tight/Skinny/Jeggings/Stretchy (Oh, I kind of like those)/etc etc etc.

But, for me, it's all false advertising. Even the jeans for my shape make me feel uncomfortable and short legged unless I wear them with 5-in heels.  Same applies to most pants and shorts.  I have chosen to live in dresses and skirts for most of my life.  They're easy to wear, one piece, versatile, and I don't feel like a cow.

#5 - TOP 40
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I do like some Top 40 music and pop music can be infectious, but I don't spend my money on it.  And if I do, I listen to it very sparingly.  I don't listen to Top 40 radio stations unless nothing else is on, I don't have any CDs loaded, or my iPod is too far away.  I don't have satellite radio in my car.  I feel sad when alternative radio stations fail and we're left with more crap radio.  I probably listen to the college radio if I have to listen to radio, and only when programming isn't preempted by sports coverage.

#6 - CREME BRULEE
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I don't get why this is people's favorite dessert EVER.  It's like pudding with hard sugar on top.  Yes, it's pretty, and yes, cracking that sugar shell is satisfying somehow, but still.  I can make some Jello pudding and eat candy.  I'd rather have some Flourless Chocolate Cake or Carnegie Deli's Plain Cheesecake.

#7 - OUTSIDE
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You see beautiful trees and fresh air worthy of frolicking in.  I see danger, bugs, sun tans, and the "outside smell".  I think the outside is great and it looks beautiful from a window or on a postcard, but this concrete jungle girl likes to remain safe, unbitten, pale, and freshly showered.  *I still am not ready to divulge my neurosis about the "outside smell."

#8 - BEER
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I see you drooling over this frosty, frothy, goodness people call beer.  For me, I wish it was wine, sake, or some other sweet liqueur. I have tried to like beer and the only time I can stand it is when:
  1. I am REALLY thirsty
  2. I haven't eaten anything
  3. It's really hot outside
  4. The beer is in a dark bottle so I can't see what's inside
  5. The bottle is so ice cold I can't taste it
  6. I down it so fast no one would know I drank it.
Good recipe to get drunk, huh?

#9 - TOILET PAPER ORIENTATION
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See, even in this pictorial demo, not only do I do it wrong, but it's BAD.  Forgive me for liking my toilet paper to come out from the bottom.  And forgive me for changing it when I use the bathroom at your house.  I can't help myself from making a statement that I am actually right and everyone else is is wrong.

#10 - PEOPLE
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Just looking at this picture freaks me out.  I am naturally shy and introverted so face to face confrontations with people sometimes scare me.  I am definitely not socially inept, but I'd rather have interactions with people on terms I can control.  This is probably why social networking is great for me.  But this goes farther.  I took a test once called FIRO-B.  In it, one dimension showed how much I "need" people and how much I express that I "need" people.  My scores were 0 and 1.  No joke.  That tells you I am happier living in my own bubble than schmoozing, networking, chatting, shooting the sh*t, gossiping (face to face), social houring, etc.  Easiest way to explain me (based on the FIRO-B results) is I want people to invite me to go places just so I have the option to say no. However, get some booze in me and I become alive like Raj on The Big Bang Theory.  All that anxiety goes away and my inner social butterfly flourishes. 

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Obviously this list is silly in most aspects.  None of this really matters in the grand scheme of things because I can find others just as odd as myself anywhere.  I just wanted to give you a little insight into me. 

I love animals, but...

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...I am not a "Dog" Person.
::GASP::

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I can hear your collective awws, and I know you're asking me how could I not love this puppy.  Go ahead and admit that's what you're asking me. 

The thing is I LOVE this puppy and dogs.  I am an animal person who loves furry little creatures, but I wouldn't categorize myself as a "dog" lover or person.  If I see a dog walking down the street, I want to talk to it (especially if it looks friendly...same applies to the owner attached to the dog),  But, that doesn't mean I want to take the dog home with me.  And I definitely don't want the dog to bark loudly at me, jump on me, push its strong stiff body on me, and especially not lick me with its big slimy wet stinky tongue.  xP

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-WTF??!!?-

I'm not being harsh and I have good reason for what has made this way.  Really, I do have an excuse for my appalling anti-dog behavior.  Come with me and I'll tell you why.

*Please note, these things do not apply to puppies.  They are too adorable to not love even if they do all those things I don't like, but they have puppy smell and I want to eat them up.

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Happy Birthday Meg!

Today is Meg's 26th Birthday!!
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Happy Happy Joy Joy!
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That's Ren and Stimpy for you youngins

Admission #1 - This is the third time I am writing this intro because my blog program has decided to hate me and keeps overwriting things I cannot retrieve right as I am done.  Your name is mud Movable Type.   Each time I rewrite it, it becomes a little different than the previous time.  I am sorry if this sucks...I am sure the other version may have been okay. 

I have had the privilege of knowing Meg (@MegUrbani) since Spring 2009.  We became friends over a common love of Twilight and Twilight Fanfic, but have since grown past just those two things.  Some time long ago, I was searching twitter for key words.  At the time, I wanted to know if anyone knew if Wide Awake's epilogue ever posted or if anyone else cared about it.  I found lots of people who were also talking about it, including Meg.  Admission #2 - I didn't think Meg and I would be friends because I was intimidated by her bio about being an internationally published fashion photographer.  Me, being ubershy and easily intimidated, thought there was no way she'd like me.  I was happy to find that Meg is completely down-to-earth, real, and awesome. 

My birthday was in August and Meg made me these very funny Edward/Rob pics.  I wanted to return the favor on her birthday with some kind of present.  I first had wanted to use photoshopped heads on bodies type of art (but in obviously bad ways, not manips).  However, I suck at photoshop, even in the bad way.  I decided to go with caricatures based on my manga/anime/Japanese Lolita/chibi love.  I made a picture of Meg and KStew.  Meg loves KStew and she and Mr. O like to tag team against me for ever saying anything against her (it's a fake diss mostly over her Twi blinking/stuttering thing).

Meg received her present yesterday and tweeted a picture of it.  I am so happy she liked it.

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The key to being an unhealthily obsessed Twilight fan is to know when you're being a lunatic and to be able to laugh at yourself because of it.  There is always someone more crazy than you in any fandom.  Meg & I may be ravenous fans, but we also like to joke about everyone who seems worse (to us).  And yes, we too know how lame we can be about it. 

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So I decided to see what was out there if we took ourselves too seriously and thought all things Twilight were magical and not in the least bit creepy.  Let's go...

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haters gonna hate...

LOLCats-hatersgonnahate.jpegToday I learned some news that really, really, really, really made me the opposite of happy.  And I know when it comes out and I have any opinion that is not YAY, then people will say "haters gonna hate." And in some parts, yeah, I am hatin', but mostly I feel the "how" is against what I consider good.  I know...


DONTHATETHEPLAYA.gifBut what if I find the game repulsive and lacking of all things I want for myself?  I don't want my future tied up in things that make me feel dirty or underhanded.  I don't want to be a "yes man" just so people think I play along even though I find so many things mediocre at best.  It all just makes me feel like this...

dear_god_make_everyone_die_trollcat.jpgBut that's not nice and against my core beliefs too (What what? I'm against murder? Yeah, shocking isn't it?).  So, how do I continue to live in this world when no matter what I do it's not what business wants or accepts?  I don't want to conform.  In most cases, I don't even want what others have, but I do wish I saw more people who got things they actually deserved.  I'm tired of seeing celebratory actions of people I really can't stand.  Their actions piss me off especially when they flaunt it too.

playacat.jpgI want to knock the smug off their mugs sometimes.  So after being beat down with all of this, it's no wonder I am my own self-fulfilling prophecy of doom.  I don't want it, I detest it, I don't do it, which means there's nothing to show for it, so no one takes notice, and I wonder why someone else got it.  Yeah, I suck. I'm sure my attitude is pretty transparent, but sometimes I don't care.  I am not entirely sure what I'm so pissed off at really.

offended_trollcat1.jpg I also don't want to end up like Ambrose...

ambrose.jpgThat kind of attitude will expose me and that won't help.  Really this post is just a place for me to vent.  There are no solutions, nor do I really want to "solve" anything or make a stink.  I just found myself upset over something and needed to get it out.  Ranting is more beneficial to my long term goals than self medicating would be (not that I do anything like that...I don't...never have, and most likely never will...but in emergencies, morphine is nice...I digress).

drugs_make_everything_awesome_trollcat.pngYes, and as I finish this I see that this is life, and this is everywhere.  I can pretend it'd be different someplace else, but most likely, it's all the same.  I'll still be hating the game and its "playas" because I don't want to play that game, and don't want to be compared to those players.  Alas, if I want what I want, then I'll find a way to do it that still matches my morals and ideals in life.  I won't change myself to get ahead.  I can't.  And with that, I end this rant.  Thanks for listening.

P.S. So this is not all one-sided:  I do have a friend who rightfully has received an award for accomplishments.  I am very proud of this person's recognition because I do believe it is deserved and done for the good of the job, not just for the good of the individual.  Congrats to you!

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Opinions are like assholes...

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...everyone's got one and they all stink!

So have you ever watched a situation from the "bleachers" and formulated what you might think is advice, but really is just your opinion? It's easier to do this nowadays when we expose ourselves so much via online activities.  If anyone took the time to really delve further, I think we all share exactly who we truly are, no matter the disguise we hide it behind. 

Well, I have been watching something from my comfy seat in the sky-box and I have formed some opinions (or advice), but I feel leery of dispensing it because I know when things are happening, unless you are ready to hear it, it's just noise that will fall to the wayside.  It won't be until time has passed and you can look back on a situation with your 20/20 goggles and see that the words of others made sense; however until then, you may think that person is a know-it-all-bitchface for telling you what you don't want to hear. 

Yet, I have all these thoughts gnawing at brain that want to come out, so I figured in general terms, I will dispense my "advice" (aka stinky asshole opinions) in my blog and at least give them room to run and play without being trapped in the confines of my mind. 

I will choose to believe that life has taught me lessons and maybe they can help someone somewhere, even if some it sounds cliche.  Like the speech used in Baz Lurhmann's "Everyone is Free (To Wear Sunscreen)":

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it.
Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the
past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts
and recycling it for more than it's worth.


LOLCat_Opinion-Tongue.jpgSo before you discount anything I say, just give me chance. 
You can ignore everything, but at least I was able to say what I needed to say.
And know that it is all done from a place of care and consideration.
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It's one of those days...

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Who am I anyway?

a-chorus-line121.jpgI am not sure how many people know that I was a professional "dancer/actress/model" from around ages 8-16.  I even had my SAG & AFTRA cards to prove it.  I lived close enough to Hollywood that I could go to auditions and work if necessary.  I never hit it big, and I can make all the excuses about being Asian which fell in popularity after White, Black, Hispanic, & Red-Head, or that Big-eyed Asians were popular when I was young, or I looked too mature too fast, etc.  I could say all that is true, but in reality, if I were being truly honest, I never wanted it.  I was a good dancer, and for some time, I was a great dancer.  However, I have always been a great mimic.  You show me what you want, and I will copy it exactly.  You tell me what emotion you want me to portray, I will give you that.  But if you asked me to create or just "be" the dance/character, I probably failed.  It takes a drive that I don't have to survive Hollywood.

Yet, I will always value what I learned from my experiences and the moderate success of a few jobs that I did do.  I see some of the kids I worked with who continue to work today and I am amazed at their perseverance.  They knew at a young age what they always wanted to do and I am slightly envious of that certainty. 

My favorite musical is A Chorus Line.  I have seen it twice on Broadway in NYC, the original and the revival.  I love the movie (Michael Douglas stars as The Director, Zach).  In my everyday life, the songs in A Chorus Line will run through my head during situations where I feel I am being tested and want something. 

A Chorus Line is a musical about the audition process to choose dancers who will perform in the chorus.  The chorus are those dancers in the background who backup the stars of the show.  They aren't the ones to receive the most recognition, but for a dancer, and opportunity to even perform in any capacity in a show is a great honor, and very competitive.  This story showcases the lives of dancers to show who they are beyond amazing performers who can "mimic" a producer's vision.  They are humanized and you feel for each one of them.

The song that hits home each time I hear it is during the opening sequence of "I Hope I Get It."  It is sung by the character Paul who sings "Who Am I Anyway?". The sentiments are not just about an audition, but knowing who you are as a person. 

Who am I anyway?
Am I my resume?
That is a picture of a person I don't know.
What does he want from me?
What should I try to be?
So many faces all around and here we go
I need this job, Oh God, I need this show.
 


Let's talk about Paul more after the jump...
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*Vent* - I sound like my Mother

Please_ThankYou.jpegEnter - VENT

I can't believe I am going to write an entry about manners, but yes, I am. This is a personal blog for me.  The things I do or write about were all added because I wanted to add them or they helped me with something.  It could be organization (fanfic), it could be emotional, or it could be because I wanted to share something. I did not start this blog to become a business.  I'm not here to sell anything or even profit from what I do by gaining "popularity".  Ultimately, this is my vanity effort to ensure a place in this world that is me.

Well, I started a fanfiction entry awhile back because I was having a hard time organizing what I was reading and how I felt about these stories.  That was great for me to go to one entry to find everything I needed.  In that journey I started "collecting" stories so I could add them to my nook instead of needing to have internet connection to read Complete stories. I then was given "The Office" from my friend.  I thought I'd be nice and offer this story to people if they asked.  No big deal...like I said, I only do things that I want to do and I thought it'd be a nice gesture.

Well, I never knew I'd become this peddler of lost stories and how far reaching my little blog would go for people to find this story.  As time went on, I started amassing other "lost" stories that had been pulled.  Each time, I updated my blog and offered to provide a PDF copy to people if they asked for it.  Again, no biggie.  Yes, I receive 5-10 requests a day and if I don't handle them within a short time-frame I end up spending hours ensuring everyone gets what they want.  But, still I don't really have a problem with the time right now because I offered to help and I am getting involved with some very nice people. 

BUT...you knew a but had to be here somewhere...I do have some peeves that are growing and make me want to tear my hair out or shut down the entry for good. 

Trust

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Oh yes, here's a word that holds so much potential for greatness, or can turn someone's world upside down.  How many times have we heard, "Trust me," only to be misled? I think it's one of the single most difficult things to ever give someone.  To say you "trust" someone means you are throwing out any preconceived notions, experiences, and walls of self-preservation away. 

Some give this away easily, while others take a lifetime getting there.  However, with some friendships or relationships, this thing called trust is not work; it's just there without judgment or fear. Maybe it's because neither has done anything to shatter that illusion, but that'd be pretty cynical of me to see the world that way.

How well do you trust people? How well do you trust yourself? There's a lyric in a Face to Face song that says, "Trust is something that comes easy when you've never been a victim." I believe this is true.  The more times you've had trust broken, the harder it is to penetrate through that self-preservation wall hiding your heart. 

However, I wonder how much life is missed by trying to protect ourselves?  How much are we stunting our own development by not trusting in our own abilities to make good decisions or even trusting that someone can be relied on in a positive way?

I find myself not trusting myself sometimes because I think I fear the unknown. I have been doing a lot of soul searching during my "1/3 life crisis" lately and need to open my heart to the universe a little more.  It hasn't hurt me in the past so there's no reason not to trust that it would steer me wrong now, right? I may take baby steps to get there, but I will get to wherever "there" is.  

Munny Munny Munny Munny...Munny!

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So I have Netflix and they recently released their iPhone app which allows me to watch ANY of my Instant View movies on my phone at any time.  I was so excited I started putting a TON of movies in my queue, even if I'd watched them before. I added Donnie Darko because I wanted to watch s. Darko and needed to rewatch the original again.

Now, I know this is like a "cult" classic and so many people are always raving about it like it's the greatest movie.  I do like it, and its stylistic weirdness, but it's also a movie that I am not obsessed about. Nor do I claim things like "if you want to understand me, then just watch this movie," like some of my friends have said. 

After I watched Donnie Darko, I immediately watched s. Darko and that movie was even stranger than the first. I like time traveling movies, yet I still leave both movies a bit perplexed. Donnie makes more "logical" sense to me than s. did, but then again, the sequel was probably made more to confuse and "trip you out" than make much sense.

But, this brings me to why I'm writing about the movies. I have been trying to figure out a way to express myself creatively in a way that feels like me.  I am enthralled by vinyl toys such as Kid Robot or Tokidoki.  They have that "kawaii" cuteness I am obsessed with, but also a creepy cool style I love.  What I didn't really get was that there was a whole DIY following where people buy the plain Munnys, Dunnys, or other toys and make their own creations. 

I found a whole webpage dedicated to just that on the Kid Robot website called Munnyworld. They have the vinyl toys currently available and even include some tips for creating your own.  Mr. Oshimbo has been interested in these ever since we saw Doktor A.'s amazing Steampunk Munny that he had designed to have three separate rotating faces.  I wish I had taken a picture of it because it's not on the webpage.  Mr. Oshimbo wants to expand his robotics skills to possibly make a Munny mechanical and allow me to decorate it. We bought three DIY toys (2 Munnys and 1 Trikky).

I found the Donnie Darko DIY creation while getting inspiration.  It is just one example of how you can create a recognizable creation from something foreign. You instantly know this is a Donnie Darko piece without it actually saying "I am the rabbit from Donnie Darko". I must say, I think I like the Dunny version of the rabbit more than the actual one.  Like I said, I like things cute and creepy. 

Check out this flickr Munnyworld Group to see great customizations. 

I don't know what I'll make or even if they'll be any good, but I hope it will make me feel like I'm leaving a trace of my creativity in the world. =) 

Dragon*Con Adventure 2010

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For the past three years, Mr. Oshimbo and I have ventured to Dragon*Con in Atlanta, GA.  Our only regret is we never knew it existed until three years ago.  However, this convention has been going on for 22 years now, every Labor Day weekend, and is the Southeast's largest Sci-Fi, Fantasy, Gaming, Anime, Comics, Pop-Culture convention.  It is very "fan" driven versus events like San Diego Comic-Con that are mostly industry driven (or have become industry driven as it's grown to monumental sizes over the years).

Well, from the moment we went three years ago, our eyes were opened and our hearts were found.  It was like finding 30K people who are just as dedicated and nerdy/geeky as you.  They all converge and are there for the same thing...FUN. 

The way Dragon*Con works is events are broken into "Tracks" of programming.  These include such things as: Whedonverse (all things Joss Whedon), YA Lit (Young Adult Literature), BritTrack (British SciFi TV), Anime (Anime/Manga), FILK (SciFi Folk Singing), Robotics, Costuming, Dark Fantasy, etc, etc, etc.  Here is the link to the fan tracks available with more information on each. The schedule is broken up into now five downtown Atlanta hotels (Expanded from four last year) with pretty much 24-Hrs worth of daily entertainment.  The schedule doesn't come out until about 4-days before the Con starts and then the mad scheduling begins.  I'd say it took Mr. Oshimbo and I about 4-hrs to go through everything to pick our 1st, 2nd, and sometimes 3rd choice activities per time slot. 

Come along and read how our Dragon*Con Adventure went this year...

This is your life...

This corresponds very nicely with the blog entry I wrote yesterday dealing with "What I want to be when I grow up."  The tie-in really makes me think the universe is trying to send me a message and I just need to be open enough to receive it, internalize it, and act upon it.

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Picture from Hyperbole and a Half. See BLOG 2 for more admiration of the blog.

For this blog entry, the life I want is "Beyonce" (not "her" but her as a metaphor).
I may be trying to emulate it, but failing miserably because I haven't taken the
time to actually become "Beyonce".  However, I am willing and able to be a
better "Beyonce" than Beyonce. I know it's possible.


So in the past few weeks I have started to take an interest in the internet again.  And no, I don't mean, "wow, the internet is a series of tubes and oh look, the guy who said it is now dead because I read it online at a big corporation's website."  I mean, that I've been trying to branch out of from my comfortable social networking and see what people are writing about or posting.  I also don't mean my piddly blog or someone's tumblr where they're just copy/pasting someone else's pictures and call it a blog.  I don't even really mean a fan site blog run by normal fans.

Disclaimer - There are a lot of awesomesauce blogs out that do what
I've mentioned, but for sake of this blog entry, we are ignoring them
because I want to talk about a different kind of internet site


The interwebz that I want to get to know again is the place where creativity is born. I want to find the places where people have found ways to make a living doing EXACTLY what they want in a creative manner.  Call it motivation or inspiration to me, but I look up to ANYONE who has found the courage to leave the mundane and do their passion.

Maybe I am having a "mid-life" crisis (I did just recently celebrate another birthday; one which placed me into the next box on "check your age range" on surveys).  Or maybe it's an awakening.  I have a choice to make in a few years and it comes down to "what do I want to do with my life?" I know it's not what I am currently doing; however, do you ever feel like you don't have the talent or gumption to do what you truly love for fear that you're not going to be successful doing it? I have that fear all the time.  I hope that by seeing examples of other people being successful doing what they love, I will find the courage to do that as well.

Come see some blogs I like -->   

Scott Pilgrim vs. Knives Chau

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I'll admit that I am late on the Scott Pilgrim bandwagon.  I am a manga reader so I usually don't know the cool comics/graphic novels that become popular.  However, when I saw the trailer for the movie a few months before the movie came out I was instantly intrigued.  I'll admit...I am a Michael Cera fan.  I know a lot of people are sick of nerd awkward persona, but I still dig it.  Maybe his "nerdspeak" speaks to people like me. 

So, while I was hyped for the movie and understood its premise, I didn't do much research like reading the comics (although the set is now saved on my Amazon wish-list with the Highest priority...Got that people?).  I didn't know who the seven evil exes were or even who else was in the movie beyond what I saw in the trailer. 

I saw the movie last weekend and I loved it.  It was weird and quirky and over-the-top.  My husband said it'll probably be a cult classic type movie.  I am guessing that will be true considering it kinda tanked by industry standards.  I don't care...I LOVED IT.

But, here's where this entry moves to my new favorite character...KNIVES CHAU.  --> Come with me to learn more. =)

**SPOILER ALERT**
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This entry is dedicated to my new found creative expression. 
It will show you some of the better iPhone Photography apps
I have found and what they can do.


I have been an iPhone user since Feb 2008.  I had an original model and I unlocked/jailbroke it to remain on T-Mobile.  Because of this relationship, I missed out on a lot of the upgrades because I'd have to wait for the new jailbreak, which sometimes did not include some of the native iPhone features.  So, I missed 3G and 3GS upgrades and was jealous of my friends who could do more with their phones; however, I enjoyed being on T-Mobile for the price, even if it was bit slow (Edge network only).

Then in 2010, with all the hype about the new iPhone 4, I really wanted to upgrade.  My husband ended his T-Mobile relationship early by jumping to Sprint so he could have the first 4G compatible HTC EVO phone (he's an Android nut for its open-source, endless hacking opportunities design).  This meant I would finally make the leap to AT&T, much to my own reluctance.  Yet, many people told me they did not encounter the #ATTFail so many spoke of.  I wanted the new phone...so network or not, I was moving.

I got my new iPhone 4 on 24-Jun-2010, the day they were released (purchased at Best Buy presale...much less hassle than the Apple or AT&T stores).  Since then, it's like I have had a brand new phone in almost all ways: 5MP camera with zoom/flash/front-side camera, 720i HD video recording, iOS4, 3G speeds, etc.

And here is where my new obsession was born.  I love, and I mean LOVE, taking photos on my iPhone 4, then manipulating them with a slew of purchased apps from the App Store.  I seem to rarely want to take photos with my actual compact camera (Panasonic Lumix DMC-ZS3 with 9MP, HD recording, and 12x optical zoom).  It's so much more convenient to just take photos on the phone, and then "play with them" until I like them.

See the apps after the break ---> 

Where have I been?



As the Cold War Kids' Hospital Beds song implies, I was in the hospital.  It was my first time in the hospital and overall, not a horrible experience thanks to the nice people who worked there.

Unboxing Porn - iPad Reveal



So, the iPad was finally available on 3-Apr-2010.  We didn't get one even though many of you think we're such Apple Fanatics that we'd buy everything sight unseen.  While we do have 6 iPods, 2 MacBooks, 1 iMac, 1 MacMini, and 1 iPhone, we're pretty good at getting the devices that will best suit our needs. We also gave away 1 iBook to a home that could benefit from it more than us.  We're like an Apple Orphanage sometimes. If we did decide to get the iPad, we'd want the 3G version not available until the end of April 2010.  But, we don't need the iPad...why? Well, no camera, no flash support, no multitasking, and an AT&T 3G bill...no thanks.  I'd rather get a new iPhone or a new MacBook Pro. 

But, here's a funny video going around the interwebz today from Revision 3.  Enjoy!

When Angels are Born

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I did not know her. In fact, our paths never crossed until last week.  And even with that, I still never knew the joy others had in knowing her. You can tell the beauty of a person by the lives they have touched.  She obviously meant a great deal to a lot of people. So how is it that I feel so much empathy towards this stranger today?

Simple...we all will die one day, but her time came too soon. It is the reminder that we are all living a fleeting existence on this planet. We all will leave to the great beyond one day. A place where it will be more peaceful than this world could ever be. But for those left behind, the tragedy of living without that person can feel like the world imploded upon itself in the wake of loss.

But, she knew what a precious gift she could bestow upon the world and never took advantage of that. From the kind words of those who knew her, she was a fighter and she loved through it all. She used humor as her armor. It is a shame this light will no longer shine in mortal form, but she has become an angel and will continue to touch others' lives.

My heart aches for those who personally feel this loss. My heart aches for the pain I too will endure one day when someone so beautiful will be taken from me. I also ache for those who may feel my loss should I be the one to leave too early; however, today is another day that I am alive and have the opportunity to show those around me how much I love them.

It's that kind of day...

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EVER HAVE ONE OF THOSE DAYS?

I'm uber-sleepy
I "very unfavorably" don't like my job at this moment
I wish everything didn't have to be planned for so far in advance
I need instant gratification
I hate planning
I hate being unorganized
I wish I could read more
I wish I was 10-yrs younger sometimes
I wish I was 10-yrs older at other times
I wonder if I'm losing my grasp on reality
I should get more sleep
I need to see into a crystal ball
I think I should stand up for myself more and not be afraid to be truthful
Why doesn't sarcasm translate to written word
Where is my filter when I feel anonymous
What is the nature of these so-called "connections"
How can I read between the lines if there isn't more than 1 line
Can you really take it back once it's been released into the world
I'm supposed to drink coffee black to be healthier
I'm supposed to take the stairs more
I'm supposed to do a lot of things
Can I be invisible
I am no where near perfect and will make lots of stupid errors
I will not learn my lesson
I don't feel remorse often, but I do feel guilty always
It'll all blow over so why am I still talking?

Never mind...I'll zip it now


Fanfic Review - Fourteen

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Body Image Issues
Source: Post Media

FOURTEEN
By,
CrimsonMarie

Author Summary:
High school is brutal.
It's even worse when you're not a size two.
Worse than that? Having a major crush on the biggest, hottest jerk in high school.
Even worse than that? Being paired up with him for a science project.

Twilight / Rated: M / Chapters: 13 / Published: 10-29-09 / Bella & Edward

**SPOILER ALERT**

I will be discussing details within the story, so please don't read on if you haven't read the story or do not wish to see my thoughts on the story.  This the first time I have felt compelled enough to write about a specific fanfiction story I have read.  I think it cut closer to home than I was comfortable with and I needed to expand on my thoughts to purge myself of these concerns.
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I am the laziest blogger on Earth

To Blog or Not To Blog.jpg
Source: Unknown

Seriously, I have all these ideas in my head that I think would be great, but then real life takes over and I never get to any of them to the point where if I DID actually start, I'd be so far behind I won't do it. Such a blogging conundrum.  But I really want to try to be a better, more regular, blogger.

Here are my ideas for regular segments on the blog:
  • Continue my regular entry updates for fanfics - rated, reading now, to-read, etc.
  • Restart my concert reviews (starting with The English Beat/Fishbone show I saw on Friday)
  • Start a new segment for reviewing the fanfics I have finished reading so people actually know WHY I rated them the way I did
  • Start a new segment for highlighting a song a week whether it is for the song itself, its lyrics, or because it spoke to me that week
  • Start a new segment reviewing new music I have bought
  • Restart my SYTYCD blogging when Season 7 starts in May.
Now I don't want to be one of those generic blog sites that all have the same new hipster information.  Really, I didn't start this because I wanted to become famous (although I love seeing that someone has found me).  I blog because I sometimes have thoughts in my head that I want to get out.  I like to just be honest and write about things that speak to me or my passions. 

So, let's see if I can drag myself away from reading Twilight fanfic long enough to make these aspirations come true.  =)

Shnookie Nook

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bn-nook-ereader.jpg
We got a nook

We named it Shnookie

We are already fighting over ownership of Shnookie

Good thing we know how to share (maybe)

How will an eReader change our lives?

Hmmm, let me count the ways...
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Life without Myspace

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myspace.logo.pngToday I did something I thought I'd never do...I deleted my myspace account.  I didn't even really think about it.  I just decided, why do I still keep this account around when I'm never on it?

Now that I have done it, I have small pangs of guilt and sadness over its absence.  Not enough to really regret it, but some to make me nostalgic for years gone by. 

My favorite speech - EVER

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sunscreen.jpg

Everybody's Free (to Wear Sunscreen)

By, Mary Schmich

(Lyrics made famous by Baz Luhrmann)

Lyrics and song -->This way

Steve Jobs - Truly Inspirational

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steve jobs.jpg


This is the text of the Commencement address by Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, delivered on June 12, 2005.

RIP Jimmie Sakamoto

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pug.jpg
On 7-Oct-2009 a little after 9PM West Coast time, my Uncle Jimmie lost his battle with lung cancer.  I have been told that in the end, he died peacefully surrounded by his friends that had become his family for many years.  He was 75-yrs old and the older brother to my Mom, Margie Oshiro. 

He had already determined his afterlife care because he didn't want to burden anyone with the details.  He requested a Memorial Service followed by a burial at sea (spreading his ashes into the ocean). 

WheretheWildThingsAre.jpgI have been very excited about the release of the movie Where The Wild Things Are since I saw the first trailer for it months ago.  The trailer included Arcade Fire's Wake Up and it was so moving I almost cried watching it.  Since then, I have been soaking up everything I can find. Now I wasn't even a fan of the book because I was past childhood when it came out, but the images from the movie were so captivating and so recognizable from the illustrations that I have since become a fan.

I bought the soundtrack to the movie last week without even listening to any of the songs.  However, I did know that Karen O from the Yeah Yeah Yeahs was doing it with Carter Burwell (recently of Twilight score fame) so it wasn't like it'd be a huge mystery.  I was blown away from the first listen.  Karen O and the Kids have captured youth, wonder, fear, amazement, excitement, and sometimes worry.

After listening for awhile, I started collecting my favorite songs and my favorite is Worried Shoes. It's very subdued and simple with just a piano in the background and Karen O's broken, tender voice that captures the song's theme.  After looking up the lyrics, I found this song is actually a cover and was originally recorded by Daniel Johnston.  It's a brilliant song.

Lyrics and more after the jump...

500-days-of-summer-01.jpg
I saw this movie for my birthday the other day and ever since I can't get it out of my head.  It's like it has planted this thought seed inside and I want to dissect it, appreciate it, contemplate it, and revisit it.  I've been trying to figure out why, but in the end it just resonated with me and has earned a spot in my favorite movies list. 

If you have NOT seen it, STOP HERE, and don't read any further because I'm going to discuss it and I don't want to give anything away.  I will strongly suggest you go watch it right now...find a theater, a showing, and don't hesitate. You will love it. 

How many tree rings do you have?

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happy-birthday-candles.jpg
TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY
I have gained another ring on my tree

Instead of complaining about getting older,
I'd like to embrace my new age.
I want to list things I am grateful for,
things I have learned over the years,
or things I still have yet to accomplish
in the many years I have left.
ONE PER YEAR I HAVE GRACED THIS EARTH
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twitter fail whaleIn a statement from Twitter's blog today:

Thursday, August 06, 2009

Denial of Service Attack

On this otherwise happy Thursday morning, Twitter is the target of a denial of service attack. Attacks such as this are malicious efforts orchestrated to disrupt and make unavailable services such as online banks, credit card payment gateways, and in this case, Twitter for intended customers or users. We are defending against this attack now and will continue to update our status blog as we continue to defend and later investigate.

NOOOO!!?!?!?!  FAIL WHALE TO THE MAX!!


That's Not My Name!

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Hi, my name is Diane.

It's sometimes:
D
Di
Di Di
Dian-E
DO

It's NEVER:
Dian
Dianne
Dihann
Dihan
Diana
Dianna
Deann
Deanna
Deana
Dina
dead-ipod.jpgSo what started as a very normal, typical day in Mrs. Oshimbo Land, has now become a matter of life and death for you, my beloved 120GB iPod.  How did we get here?  Well, we got in the car, we plugged you up with the Monster FM Transmitter, we got angry at how bad Maxwell's new album is, then we rocked out to Florence & The Machines before getting to work.  Then we unplugged you from the Monster FM Transmitter, placed you so softly within your Juicy purse pocket and then released you onto the work desk you spend many hours on.  Then, you allowed me to place headphones in and change artists to Discovery.  But, when I tried to play the LP album, you froze on song one even though you said you were playing.  Then you let me go to song two, but continued to freeze.  It was at that moment I knew you were sick.

My Elvis Has Died!

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Michael Jackson.jpg
RIP Michael Joseph Jackson (August 29, 1958 - June 25, 2009)


The Story of Oshimbo

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RossDianeDopplegangers.JPGI have been watching a lot of movies lately that make me feel emotional about love: Finding love, messing up love, growing old with the one you love, losing love, losing loved ones, etc.  Because of this, I thought I'd tell the story of how I became an Oshimbo.

(If you were wondering, Oshimbo is a combination of both our last names.  We jokingly said we'd be like Mayor Villaraigosa of Los Angeles who made a new last name when he and his wife married; however, ours was a silly name and not one I wanted officially on documents.  I do like it for websites though) 

twitter-logo.jpgI am sure other people wonder the same thing because some days I wonder, "How in the world did that person find my twitter account and what made them hit the FOLLOW button?"

I'm not a celebrity, I'm not a "genre" twitter account, I'm not an expert at anything, nor am I super funny, perverse, or witty.  Yet, I have almost 200 people who are currently following me.  There have been more, but obviously they figured out I am a fraud and stopped following, but for the ones that stay...why?

A conversation with my blog...

nomnomnomlolcats.jpg
www.mrs.oshimbo.com...can we talk?

I realize that when I created you, you actually expected that we'd have some kind of meaningful relationship filled with hours upon hours of heartfelt conversations.  However, I believe I duped you into believing that was my MO.  You see, while I have every intention of meeting you half way in this relationship, for some reason, I just get too distracted to remember you. 

I know, don't cry, it's not you, it's me.
me pic_purple hair
Hi Everyone.  I am a horrible blogger (*hangs head in shame*).  How will I ever actually switch to this web page if I never actually use it?  Actually, I haven't updated my public site, www.itsnotamonkey.com either.  Well, I have a problem.  Why update that old page when I'll then have to transfer it over to this page?  But, at the same time, why should I update this page, when it's not public yet because it's pretty boring looking? 

Good Samaritans

Good SamaritanToday is Valentine's Day.

We exchanged presents, we ate a great dinner, and we saw the ballet (I'll write about that later). But, the greatest gift we received is the help from a stranger. We got a flat tire at dinner and left it for after the ballet.

Now Ross is changing it, but was having problems getting the lugnuts off. This kid stopped, when everyone else just drove past us, and offered to help. He stayed and helped until Ross said he could leave.

Now that is the spirit of St. Valentine!!! To love unconditionally and to show mercy for your fellow man!!

I don't know this kid, but I thank him! Happy Valentine's Day to you!!!

Friday Afternoon Pick-Me-Up

John Mayer

Lately it seems that every Friday afternoon I feel beat down by life, work, people, etc.  This feeling usually makes me want to either go home and sleep or go out and find something to make me forget the past 40+ Hour work week. 

But something happened yesterday making me change my perspective on my situation.  I had the feeling when my husband said, "Hey, just listen to the words."

He set my iPod to a song and hit play.  I had heard the song a million times before and he in fact used to have it on his myspace page as the only song for months (driving everyone crazy).  He used to say it worked for him, but I guess I needed to feel that same exhaustion and oppressive helplessness to actually HEAR the words for the first time. 

Kenny Crucial - The Man, The Mystery

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Kenny Crucial

I don't know when we started noticing this guy, but one day we just did.  First it was, "Hey, there's that guy again".  Then it was, "Wow, there's that guy AGAIN!"  Next it was, "Who is that guy and why do we see him so much? Maybe I should take his picture?"  We thought maybe he was a reporter because he was always alone, but he was always in the front row and never took any pictures or looked like he was writing anything down, so we discounted that theory.  Finally, one time at The Earl, we overheard someone say, "Hey Kenny...", and I was like, AHA, HE HAS A NAME.  Ever since then, we have had this urge to talk to him because we see him at so many of the same concerts we're at, but we never do. 

I can't give up my addiction

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Vampire Knight Logo.gifVampire Knight YukiZero.png


To whom it may concern,

I have an addiction...

Yes.  I admit it.  I am addicted to Vampire Knight.  If you have never heard of it, I'd completely understand why.  Before Sept 2008, neither had I, but that fateful day at the Atlanta Anime Weekend, I watched 1-Hr of the anime because  I love vampires, and it had vampire in the title.  It only took about 10-Min from when I started watching the cartoon to realize, I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING THERE IS TO KNOW ABOUT VAMPIRE KNIGHT AND I MUST KNOW IT NOW!!!! 

Panasonic Lumix DMC-TZ1 Panasonic Lumix DMC-TZ5


I will attempt to do an unscientific, not in the least very technical comparison of a TZ1 and TZ5.


NYC Was Awesome

Play by Play of our trip to NYC:


11-July-2007: Arrived at LaGuardia at 1100am. Got to Park Central Hotel at 12pm, but couldn't get to our rooms until 4pm. Checked in our bags and then walked to the Guggenheim Museum. We went through Central Park to get to the museum. It was only 44 block away (YIKES), and it was HOT! Stopped to eat in the park at the Boathouse and visited Alice's statue (Alice in Wonderland). Got to the museum and it was under construction so we couldn't see Frank Lloyd Wright's famous architecture. The rotunda was amazing (kind of gave us vertigo). Spent about 1.5hrs in the museum. There was a lot of WEIRD art there. I like modern art, but some of this was almost pointless. We decided to take the subway back to the hotel. Good thing because it poured on us. Ate at the famous Carnegie Deli where we shared a Woody Allen (cornbeef/pastrami on rye). It was as big as my head, and could have fed 4 people. Also had NY famous cheesecake. YUMMY! Finally checked into the hotel and later met the fam for dinner. That night around 11pm, we took the subway to Nolita (North of Little Italy) to find this bar called Sweet and Viscous because Interpol was having a record release party. Got to hang with Sam and Paul from Interpol, along with Chef Mario Battali. So that made 3 celebrities in 1 day! Got back around 3am and went to sleep.


12-July-2007: Got up early and had breakfast in some small French cafe that only had Italian waiters. Then walked to the Museum of Modern Art (MoMA). It was AMAZING! We saw Picasso, Van Gogh, Degas, Rothko, Matisse, Warhol, Pollack, etc. Got lots of pictures. Spent probably 3-4hrs there. We saw Joan Rivers at the museum. That's celebrity 4 in 2 days. Ate a gyro from a street vendor and felt like a real new yorker. Later that night we went to Devin's show. She was in 4 numbers. It was actually pretty boring because there was too much talking and not enough dancing. Devin was awesome though! Went to eat at this real French restaurant. Got back by 1am.


13-July-2007: Left the hotel by 730am. Got my Mom and fam to take the subway to the Empire State Building. What a wonderful view. So pretty. Then we went to Battery Park to take the ferry to Statue of Liberty. It was pretty crowded and that made me grumpy. Dev, Ross, and I took silly pictures with Lady Liberty. We didn't go to Ellis Island because we were all tired. Got back to the hotel and met up again at 7pm because we were going to see A Chrous Line on Broadway. I loved it so much. I can sing every word. We saw Bill Paxton at the theater (he's in Big Love right now). That's celebrity 5. Afterwards, we went walking around Times Square on our way to this Japanese restaurant listed in the playbill book. It was soooooooo good. Met my finicky father's approval. That night, Ross and I took one of those bike taxis back to the hotel. Man those guys work hard for $10.


14-July-2007: Getting really tired by now. We slept in and met at 10am at Starbucks. My Dad went on his own because he wanted to see Central Park and a museum. The rest of us went SHOPPING! We went to Macy's, Canal Street, SOHO, and Nolita. We ate in Little Italy at this place called Sal's. Food in NY is soooo good. Everything we had was better than anything in GA. Got back around 6pm and rested for awhile. Devin, Ross, and I went out while the parents packed (early flight for them). We walked down 5th avenue to the most awesomely fantastic place in NYC. It was the APPLE store with the huge glass cube and floating apple sign. There was a clear spiral staircase into the store. In it, there were these strange dancers doing tango around the stairs. I was filming them, but the staff made me stop. I got 30-sec worth. We then went to the meatpacking district to get into this place known for cool music and food. Well, turns out you have to be 21 to get in. We didn't get in. I know, I turn 21 next month! J/K. We ate and went back to Times Square to do some souvenir shopping. Dropped Devin off after 1am. They had to leave for the airport by 5:30am and Devin hadn't started packing yet.


15-July-2007: Last Day in the BIG APPLE. Got up around 10am and got ready/packed for 12pm checkout. Went to eat our last meal and spent a lot of time at Starbucks while Ross finished his homework. We went to the Museum of Natural History. Parts look exactly like Night at The Museum. The dinosaurs were awesome. But, my favorite section was of course the monkeys and apes. We also saw history of Asian people and history of Mexican people. Had to leave for the airport at 6pm. Our plane left 1.5hrs late and got back to ATL after midnight.


I didn't think I'd love NYC as much as I did. It had great food, easy transportation, and, surprisingly very nice people. I'd go back in a heartbeat.

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